I’d Rather Not Be Referred To As T Turn [Friday Thoughts W/ TeeCoZee]
Good Moleman. We only get 30 sweet night days and then the government takes it away. I can see through time. It’s Friday, December 30, 20Two2. The weather in South Ozone Park is 49° & Pantone 15-3919 and somewhere, somebody is looking it up. There ain’t no way that that’s the truth. He’ll show them, he’ll show everyone, as soon as he has it looked up. But he still can’t find the right answer. Is there some sort of filter on? A filter that blocks out the truth? Is he seriously going to have to use Bing again? Big Googs is trying to bring him down again, make him look like a hoser again. Little does he know, Miracle Whip actually isn’t mayonnaise. It’s not even close. And me? I always do my searches on Yahoo, which I believe just aggregates from Google. I also have some things on my mind.
– I was musing on my musings on losing while stuck in traffic yesterday. I was behind a massive truck that was hauling CarCasses. Not dead bodies of humans, but rather dead bodies of cars. Capitalization is key. It really made me think even more about how much loss we encounter in our everyday lives. There must’ve been at least 300 crushed cars on this truck. That’s something to the tune of 6 million dollars. One single truck is carrying 6 million dollars worth of shattered dreams, overdue loan payments, stranded commutes, the likes. They were Christmas gifts, mid-life criseses and a last ditch effort to turn a life around. All gone and being hauled away on a filthy truck. I thought about all of the people that lost before realizing who the biggest loser of all was. It was me, the poor schmuck stuck behind the truck that is constantly getting scrap metal stuck in his tires. Welp.
– I started listening to 80s Japanese City Pop, because I just do things sometimes. Most of the songs I’ve heard sound like something Steely Dan would’ve made, if they were Japanese and sometimes a woman. In other words, every song is a “Whole-Ass Bop”. One prominent feature of the songs is that the first line of the chorus will be in English and then they’ll sing the rest in Japanese to rhyme with the English words. That feels like a cheat code in song writing. American musicians need to step up their game. Can’t find something that rhymes? Make it rhyme in a different language! Not only will it make your song better, but now people that speak that language can sing along for 3 seconds! They’ll sing the one line loudly and proudly in an attempt to feel more cultured. That’s international recognition, baby!
– Even though we have control over the TVs at work, I still end up with Jennifer Hudson on my screen every morning. It’s not a good or bad thing, as the show is entirely benign on mute. What bothers me is her nickname. Who in the right mind would think that calling her J Hud was a good idea?!? It doesn’t roll off the tongue and it is definitely some lost Gen Z lingo. You know how sometimes you have to poop after smoking weed? That’s a J Hud. She’s officially the most excrement-forward celebrity since The Scatman. Just because her last name is divisible doesn’t mean it should actually be done. I’m not gonna go around calling myself T Turn. That’s what you do when you make a turn and then turn around when you realize that you went the wrong direction. I am not here to promote T Turns.
– Try this trick over the weekend: Make a wrong turn. But instead of turning around to make it a T, make it an R. Be somebody.
Have a curvy weekend, everyone!