Day 267: Baseball Haikus – Padres at Mets 6/12/21

Rachel’s already drunk
Off of half of a cider
Game hasn’t started

Top of the 2nd: San Diego 0, New York 2

*Mrs. Met is thicc
Apparently, she’s a he
I’d still hit it tho*

He stros em all down
Making them look like damn fools
He’s the Stro Man, man.

Look, it’s Joe Musgrove
More like MusGetHitALot
The former cheater

Bottom of the 3rd, Padres 0, Mets 2

Swinging pool noodles
The kid can’t hit a home run
No chicken for him

Bottom of the 4th: Dads 0, Metropolitans 2

He yelled, “double play”
Then they did a double play
They sometimes listen

He’s flipping tires
But gently putting them down
He won’t win that way

Top of the 6th: Gaslamp Quarter 0, Flushing 2

*Drunk guys behind us
Rachel wants to fight them both
She’d totally win*

Bottom of the 7th: Friars 1, Ets 3

Another foul ball
The best catches of the day
Were made in the stands

Counterfeit pride flag
When you pour cola on it
It will turn out brown

Nacho in my teeth
Can’t seem to get it dislodged
Relief will not come

Pitcher, Pierce Johnson
Also known as Prince Albert
Real stab in the dick

Final Score: Chargers 1, Jets 4

Lindor, the hero
Among his adoring fans
He got sick of boos

– TeeCoZee (And RachWynn*)