Day 189: I’d Rather Let Them Swear [Friday Thought W/ TeeCoZee]
Good Moleman. My cats breath smells like Grandma. It does smell like Grandma! It’s Friday, March 26, Two Zero Twenty-Three Minus Two. The weather in Astoria is 70˚ & Pantone 15-4707 & somewhere, somebody is watching the clouds move. Why are they moving so quickly? Are they late for something? Or are they running from some evil cloud in New Jersey? They ponder another grandiose possibility where it clouds don’t move at all, but rather it’s Earth moving among the clouds. Kind of like in that Jamiroquai video where we thought the floors were moving but it was actually the walls. Maybe the universe is one big Jamiroquai video and we’re just living in it, blissfully unaware. That’s a possibility that they consider. And me? I think the clouds are just moving north for the Summer. I also have some things on my mind. But I also have to work. So I guess I only have one thing on my mind.
– A surefire way to tell whether or not I’m going to hate a reality show is by measuring the distance between bleeps. It’s a common trope that once or twice per episode, a character will go on a bleep-filled tirade. But some shows take that gimmick way too far and have a constant hour-long stream of bleeps. It becomes extremely difficult to figure out what they’re even saying. Arguments will just happen and you’ll never figure out why. Then what’s the point of even watching it?
This is 2021. Standards & practices have drastically changed since The Real World first went on the air. Everybody swears now. It’s not that taboo anymore. Just the other day, a wealthy man called me a cocksucker in front of his two toddlers. Nobody cares anymore. Then why are the networks holding on to the Clinton Era sensibility like it’s a security blanket? These shows air after dark and generally have context and situations that kids with sensitive ears shouldn’t be watching in the first place, bleep or no bleep. For example, in a show that Rachel is currently watching in the other room, they utilized 5 bleeps in 10 seconds to describe how small a man’s penis was. If you’re being forced to censor most of a conversation about something that should also be censored, then why even show it? Just let the people fucking swear!
It’s seriously not that fucking hard. They should at least offer an uncensored version on demand. It’ll save me a lot of headaches in the future. But I’m also starting to wonder if I’m just not used to the bleeps. Just now, there was a teary argument between two women. It was 70% bleeped out and at the end of it, Rachel called to me and said I was “missing some good shit”. Maybe it’s squares like me that are the problem. Maybe I’m just not conditioned to work around the bleeps and effectively translate them in real time. Maybe it adds to the appeal, as some sort of Play At Home Game. If that’s the case, disregard everything I said. I’m just some old fogey that doesn’t understand the ways of the hip world.
– Try this trick over the weekend: Take a bleep bleep bleep and bleep bleep you bleep.
Have a bleep bleep, everybleep!