Day 184: Because It’s The Start Of My Bo Jackson Year [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]
34 is such a nothing age. I’m officially in the middle of my early mid-30s. Or maybe I’m at the end of my late early-30s. I’m definitely in my late early-mid-30s. I feel like as soon as I tell people that I’m 34, they’re going to look straight to my Man Boobs. Like my face is up here, bruh. I realize that my age is proportionate to the size of my chest, but give me a break! I’m not an object. I’m an old dude. Or a young geezer. You get the idea. So for the whole year, when I’m asked how old I am, I’m simply going to say, “I’m in my Bo Jackson Year”. If they can automatically discern that it makes me 34, I know they’re good people that deserve that type of information. Here’s some lists!
5) Top 5 Favorite Things To Do On My Birthday
5) Eat cake
4) Write lists
3) Make wishes
2) Bask in applause and congratulations
1) Play Tecmo Bowl
I started the Tecmo Bowl tradition a while back. It should also be known that whenever I play my birthday game of Tecmo Bowl, I typically get my ass kicked. Today, the 49ers beat me 55-28. I couldn’t touch Jerry Rice or John Taylor. And sadly, there’s only one Bo Jackson handoff in the Switch Online version and the CPU was blitzing on it the entire game. And then Jay Schroeder would get picked off on every 2nd down. It was a terrible outing, as is the Birthday Tradition.
4) Top 5 Shittiest Birthdays
Although 2008’s Making A Scene And Drunkenly Falling Asleep In A Snowbank Hoping To Die may seem like the worst birthday ever, nothing will ever beat 2011’s Eating Sardines For Dinner And Crying For Hours Nonstop. Hoo boy, that fucking sucked. Honorable mentions include: never leaving my bedroom, my first depressed birthday and the oh-so popular not being able to look my Mom in the eye at dinner because I knew I would cry if I did.
3) Top 5 Comics That I Wish I Would’ve Caught Up On
4) Dept of Truth
2) TMNT The Last Ronin
1) Paper Girls
This was at the request of my sister. Truth be told, it’s definitely not too late for me to dip back into most of them. I’m probably only missing a few issues. But Saga is long gone, with the ship not even being visible on the horizon as it sails farther away.
2) Top 34 Things I Plan To Do In My Bo Jackson Year
34) Catch up on comics
33) Beat the 49ers
32) Acknowledge that Tecmo Bowl refers to the 49ers as SF and SF only
31) Go to a baseball game
30) Eat a sandwich without cheese on it
29) Write at least 185 more times in the same amount of days
28) Finally do my dissertation on onion transport
27) Make some money
26) Spend some money
25) Invest some money
24) Go to a live wrestling event
23) Be a guest on a podcast
22) See my family that I miss sorely
21) Play disc golf
20) Write some lists
19) Do everything I can to keep the best wife of all time
18) Sleep, most nights
17) Get in an argument
16) Beat Rachel at mini golf [this won’t happen]
15) Watch a sunset
14) Wake up at 7 AM and put my glasses on to watch the end of the game I had playing on Youtube
13) Gain the confidence to attempt making a pizza
12) Eat a sandwich with cheese on it
11) Have a cold beer
10) Sit on my balcony and watch the trains go by
9) Redesign my island
8) Be an insufferably over-involved fantasy baseball commissioner
7) Make a bet
6) Roll some dice
5) Start a short story
4) Hug a friend
3) Sit in some grass
2) Go for drives just for the hell of it
1) Continue trying, in my best ability, to live my best life
Okay, that probably wasn’t top 34. It was just 34 random things that are guaranteed to happen, in no particular order.
1) Top 5 New Pictures In My Camera Roll
Let’s be honest. There’s nothing better than blowing out candles on a real cake and a digital cake at the same time. So satisfying. It’s something I should do more often.
Have a wishful year, everyone!