“Everything Amazing, Fabulous!” Says Wonka as more Oompa-Loompa’s test positive for Coronavirus

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“Try the masks, they’re each flavored like a complete meal!”

“Mr. Wonka, often described as, “thin, squirrely and maliciously song-driven,” danced around us few gathered reporters dolling out medical masks due to the ongoing Covid-19 outbreak.

I’d Rather Be Thirsty & Unscathed [Friday Thoughts W/ TeeCoZee]

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Good Moleman. Would you mind hanging my coat up on the wall, please? Ahaha. Relax, Homer, at Globex, we don’t believe in walls. In fact, I’m wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all!… Continue reading

I’d Rather Eat Pizza [Pizza Thoughts W/ TeeCoZee]

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Good Moleman. I thought you might like this restaurant, Bart. They’ll make a pizza pie with a topping of your choice. That’s good! The toppings contain potassium benzoate. That’s bad. It’s Friday Saturday,… Continue reading

I’d Rather Not Drive To Work [Friday Thoughts W/ TeeCoZee]

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Good Moleman. Fritz, you idiot! I didn’t order a bologna sandwich. I told you, I don’t like ethnic food! It’s Friday, February Fourteenth, Twenty-Twenty. The weather in Brooklyn is 30° & Pantone B137… Continue reading

I’d Rather Trade For A Dodge Viper [Friday Thoughts W/ TeeCoZee]

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Good Moleman. Aw, Marge, this is so depressing. My only hope is this homemade Prozac. Hmm…needs more dog. It’s Friday, February 7th, Twenty Twenty. The weather in Brooklyn is 34° & Pantone 19-4122… Continue reading

I’d Rather Be Lame [Friday Thoughts W/ TeeCoZee]

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Good Moleman. I saw this in a movie where a bus had to speed around the city, keeping its speed over 50. And if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it… Continue reading

I’d Rather Play Tecmo Super Bowl [Friday Thoughts W/ Troy]

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Good morning. Or afternoon. Or dinnertime. It’s Friday, January 20th, 1995. The weather in Chesaning is 38° & gloomy and somewhere, somebody is hunting. Somewhere else, somebody is making dinner. Somewhere else, somebody… Continue reading

I’d Rather Have My Wife Write For Me [Sunday Thoughts W/ RageWynn]

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Hey hi hello good whatever time of day it is! Today is Sunday, January 12, 2020. The weather in Brooklyn is way too warm for January & Pantone whateverthefuck, and somewhere, someone is… Continue reading

“American Utopia” Reminded Me Of Everything

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[What follows came straight from the heart. Upon sitting down on the train, I started writing on my phone and I didn’t stop. With that said, I apologize about how unpolished this is.… Continue reading

I’d Rather Have Lunch [Friday Thoughts W/ TeeCoZee]

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Good Moleman. Yeah, Moe, Starland Vocal Band sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked. I’ve seen bands suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. It’s… Continue reading