Category Archive: Top 5

Day 166: Top 5 Great Things About March 3rd, 2021

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We have a lot of reasons to complain. We’ve done it so often that not finding things to complain about feels abnormal. We’re a year into the pandemic. We feel hopeless and lonely.… Continue reading

Day 163: Because February Was As Short As It Deserved To Be [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

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Go to hell, February. You’re a stupid month and nobody likes you. There’s a reason why you’re so short and it’s seemingly given you a Napoleon Complex. You think that because of your… Continue reading

Day 160: Top 5 Chickens

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If there’s anything I love more than the sound of a betting slip being dispensed out of a machine, it’s being controversial. I know for a fact that you all come to BFD… Continue reading

Day 156: Because I Still Feel Like A Person [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

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I woke up this morning thinking to myself, “That’s it? That’s all you got?”. I was expecting extreme malaise, droll running down my chin, not knowing who I was or how my shirt… Continue reading

Day 149: Because President’s Day Only Comes Once A Year [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

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It’s the sexiest day of the year. Can you feel it? Love is in the air. I’m excited, I hope you’re excited. But we must show restraint. We still have to wait another… Continue reading

Day 146: Top 5 Subjects You Don’t Want To Hear About Today

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It was a busy goddamn day. I’m allowed to have those, or at least that’s what my psychiatrist would tell me if he was actually interested in my well-being and not the dollar… Continue reading

Day 142: Because Robocop Doesn’t Need A Number To Be Cool [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

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I know I say it a lot, but wow that was a long week. It snowed twice. I can’t remember the last time that’s ever happened here. There’s something about major weather events… Continue reading

Day 138: Top 5 Songs That Kept Me Sane In Gridlock Traffic

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It happened again. I’m sure to a lot of people, it happens every day. But for me, it’s a special occaision. It was just another sexy ass Wednesday Night. I had a Slurpee… Continue reading

Day 135: Because My Bagel Bite Stock Doesn’t Seem To Be Rising [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

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Anybody else hit the big bucks this week? Yeah, me neither. Despite popular belief, buying stocks is still not as easy as buying anything else online. There’s a whole vetting and application process… Continue reading

Day 128: Because The Bernie Meme Is Already Played [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

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This week felt like a million weeks. Mainly because we’ve endured millions of Bernie Sanders memes. They’ve been worn out so much that the memes are becoming self-aware. Like they know that it’s… Continue reading