Category Archive: News

Roscoe Limps to Victory Over Cozo’s U.S. Debut

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– Comstock Park The blustery weather led to an eventful today on the emerald greens during the first and second qualifying rounds of AJ’s Comstock Classic. The real competition focused on the duel… Continue reading

Local Basketball Rivalry Inspires Some

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–Wealthy St. The tension in the air was thick, Sunday evening. At an unsuspecting Basketball court near the freeway, an infamous local basketball rivalry continued and gridlocked in an impromptu match. Robert “Nasty”… Continue reading

Something’s Rotten in the Board Game Aisle

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When I think tile word games, the natural connection I come up with is fruit. Apparently I am not alone. Top toy company, The Parker Brothers, is getting a run for its money… Continue reading

Binder & Binder defend BINDER in Binder-related Binder failure

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AP– National Social Security Disabilities Advocates Binder & Binder have stepped up to the plate today in what some analysts are calling the most daring case ever undertaken by the Binder Bros. Defending… Continue reading

Grisly Murder Shakes The Outworld; Overjoys Some

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Parts Unknown, Outworld– The Outworld is in shambles today, after news broke out about the violent murder and torching of their long-running beloved leader, Raiden. Witnesses say that during a walk home through… Continue reading

It’s Made of People!? Looking into Cannibalism in the Frozen Treats Industry

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It started several weeks ago, when Baskin Robbins unveiled its new summertime treat: Monkey Brain Sherbet. Most food critics and the population in general thought the gimmick was in poor taste, but competing… Continue reading

Local Man Successfully Gets Laid After Eating Fifth-Third Burger

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Comstock Park, MI Consuming 5,000 calories in one sitting is an extremely daunting task. Appearing to be physically attractive afterward is a whole other ball game. Thursday night, the baseball game between the… Continue reading

After 23 Years, Captain Midnight Strikes Again; Brings Fear Into Satellite TV Viewers

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Ocala, FL–

The television world was shook like a baby today as the infamous satellite pirate, Captain Midnight, wreaked terror on an MTV broadcast. Known previously as being an activist for lower premium channel prices, Captain Midnight’s new message is one of principle.

Patrick Duffy and Suzanne Somers Spotted At Kirk Park

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It was a normal day at the beach in Grand Haven, MI. Kids tried to make sandwiches out of sand, pseudo-punks tried to dig their own pods to fill with water, and tattooed… Continue reading

baseballfordinner.com stages a fake launch; offends dozens

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Grand Rapids, MI– Dozens of online readers are reportedly upset today after contributors from the much anticipated website, baseballfordinner.com allegedly staged a fake launch. It has yet to be determined why such a… Continue reading