Category Archive: Essay

Two Or Three Things I Know About Her


I sometimes like to imagine that I’m a victim of teleportation. As if somehow, on some indiscernable date in 2004, I wake up in my weary 35 year old body and am left… Continue reading

I’d Rather Have My Wife Write For Me [Sunday Thoughts W/ RageWynn]


Hey hi hello good whatever time of day it is! Today is Sunday, January 12, 2020. The weather in Brooklyn is way too warm for January & Pantone whateverthefuck, and somewhere, someone is… Continue reading

This is the Stephen King novel I tried to write when I was six.


While sorting through old boxes in Reed City, buried beneath my Pinewood Derby trophies and novelty spoon collection, I found the first story I’d ever written. I had no memory of writing this,… Continue reading

Excuses To Not Be Writing


You haven’t seen me around lately. I’ll try to take it as an observation instead of an accusation. I’ve been around. Trust me. I was probably hanging out by the Pepsi Machine. Yeah,… Continue reading

How Your Arts Degree Might Just Save Humanity


After getting the legally acceptable amount of radiation inside a terror-proof pod, you emerge bleary eyed in the Delta Airlines Terminal of La Guardia in NYC. Thirsty for an overpriced beer, you notice… Continue reading

I am not a Millennial -The Birth and Death of Generation Y


  I was born in 1986. Every generational article goes into great detail about the Baby Boomers (my parents.) How by sheer numbers they changed the world as they aged. If the 60’s… Continue reading

The Worst Test of All Time


TIME High School, 2003 LOCATION Reed City, Michigan TEST SUBJECT  The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer UNINTENTIONAL EXPERIMENT  How will I score on a reading comprehension test for The Canterbury Tales considering: A… Continue reading

Romney’s Modern Life


Vote November 6th, or this will be your new Saturday morning cartoon- Election day is a very dangerous day. IF YOU LIKE THIS POST, VISIT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Frankenstorm and Hurricane Sandy to Hit East Coast Searching for Happiness


AP BREAKING NEWS The MTA of New York City announced a shut down of subway service at 7pm today as Frankenstorm and Hurricane Sandy AKA, “The Bride of Frankenstorm,” barreled towards each other… Continue reading

How the Detroit Tigers Forced Me to Love Sports

by and Scottym70 are proud to bring you our first actual post (kind of) about baseball. Patience is not my style. Anything that I didn’t master instantly as a kid (geometry) was branded… Continue reading