Category Archive: Baseball Haikus

Day 272: Baseball Haikus – Cubs at Mets 06/16/21

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Looking down belowThere’s a lot of bald peopleMust be a Queens thing Simple kind of manI still hate that fucking songBut deGrom likes it *Rizzo is on deckThat’s not the on deck circleMove… Continue reading

Day 267: Baseball Haikus – Padres at Mets 6/12/21

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Rachel’s already drunkOff of half of a ciderGame hasn’t started Top of the 2nd: San Diego 0, New York 2 *Mrs. Met is thiccApparently, she’s a heI’d still hit it tho* He stros… Continue reading

Day 260: Baseball Haikus – Trying To Get To Citi Field 6/5/21

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Had no game this week Everyone on the west coast Making me real sad 12:41 PM Going anywayMaking my way to FlushingCash in a raincheck [The next Astoria-Bound train is in 22 minutes]… Continue reading

Day 253: Baseball Haikus – Rockies vs Mets

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Vizzy Hard SeltzerTastes of booze and butt berriesStraight to stomach ache Top of the 2nd: Rockies 0, Mets 0 James McCann, babyMore like James McWillGoYardFlies out to right field Raimel Tapia Looks like… Continue reading

Day 246: Baseball Haikus – Renegades vs Cyclones

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Slow concession standsNobody is in a rushSo we’ll miss first pitch Joe “The Nord” GenordCouldn’t finish his at-batAvorded The Nord Middle of the 2nd: Renegades 0, Cyclones 0 Stolen base challengeDoing what the… Continue reading

Day 232: Baseball Haikus – Diamondbacks at Mets

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Ass Cab bends overRapidly rubbing his batWelcome Back, Ass Cab Gallen stands on deckPretending to practice swings The hair on this man Top of the 3rd – Diamondbacks 4, Mets 0 Glasses are… Continue reading