Category Archive: Baseball Haikus

Day 274: Baseball Haikus – Athletics at Yankees 06/19/21

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Thank you, Guard RailingFor protecting me from ballsAnd seeing batters Full capacityThis place is ready to rockYank fans are the best Sexy Kelly GreensSo much better than road grays More teams should do… Continue reading

Day 272: Baseball Haikus – Cubs at Mets 06/16/21

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Looking down belowThere’s a lot of bald peopleMust be a Queens thing Simple kind of manI still hate that fucking songBut deGrom likes it *Rizzo is on deckThat’s not the on deck circleMove… Continue reading

Day 267: Baseball Haikus – Padres at Mets 6/12/21

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Rachel’s already drunkOff of half of a ciderGame hasn’t started Top of the 2nd: San Diego 0, New York 2 *Mrs. Met is thiccApparently, she’s a heI’d still hit it tho* He stros… Continue reading

Day 260: Baseball Haikus – Trying To Get To Citi Field 6/5/21

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Had no game this week Everyone on the west coast Making me real sad 12:41 PM Going anywayMaking my way to FlushingCash in a raincheck [The next Astoria-Bound train is in 22 minutes]… Continue reading

Day 253: Baseball Haikus – Rockies vs Mets

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Vizzy Hard SeltzerTastes of booze and butt berriesStraight to stomach ache Top of the 2nd: Rockies 0, Mets 0 James McCann, babyMore like James McWillGoYardFlies out to right field Raimel Tapia Looks like… Continue reading

Day 246: Baseball Haikus – Renegades vs Cyclones

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Slow concession standsNobody is in a rushSo we’ll miss first pitch Joe “The Nord” GenordCouldn’t finish his at-batAvorded The Nord Middle of the 2nd: Renegades 0, Cyclones 0 Stolen base challengeDoing what the… Continue reading

Day 232: Baseball Haikus – Diamondbacks at Mets

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Ass Cab bends overRapidly rubbing his batWelcome Back, Ass Cab Gallen stands on deckPretending to practice swings The hair on this man Top of the 3rd – Diamondbacks 4, Mets 0 Glasses are… Continue reading