Category Archive: Baseball Haikus

Day 337: Baseball Haikus – Dodgers at Mets 08/14/2021

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Mozz sticks on my tongueSun beams on my greasy faceTotally worth it There’s a breeze tonight.So much better than last night.Thanks so much, weather. Do you ever feelLike a cotton candy bagDriving through… Continue reading

Day 330: Baseball Haikus – Dodgers at Mets 08/13/2021

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Bronson on the micHigh out of his goddamn mindCalling the lineups Much to my dismay,Mrs Met looks sexierIn a black jersey. Bottom of the 1st: Dodgers 1, Mets 0 Clapping for the MetsBut… Continue reading

Day 320: Baseball Haikus – Renegades at Cyclones 08/03/2021

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Just a quick lil vapeBefore singing the anthemDudes got lungs of steel They brought DVDsTo peruse between inningsConey Island, man. He’s the hometown boyBorn and raised in CanarsieLiving out his dream Top of… Continue reading

Day 316: Baseball Haikus – Braves at Mets 07/28/2021

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It’s Tylor MegillHe only throws balls and foulsNo strikes for this dude Oh, sweet baby Nimms. We missed your dumb toothy smileAnd running on walks Triple fisting bevsThat’s the only life she knowsOne… Continue reading

Day 309: Baseball Haikus – Current Standings 07/24/21

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AL EAST Boston Red Sox (60-38) Credit to DugieAnd Mr Banana ManFor the surprise wins. Tampa Bay Rays (59-39) They sold off their Ace,And they still keep winning games.Fucked up strategy. New York… Continue reading

Day 302: Lazy Haiku Saturday

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Woke up around tenAlready fully preparedTo relax all day Ah yes, cold pizzaThe breakfast of championsWith extra olives The salon is fullIt looks like our appointmentWill not be on time A maskless jerkfaceGets… Continue reading

Day 295: Baseball Haiku Doubleheader – Brewers at Mets 07/07/21

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The sweltering heatThings I do to see deGromLike burning my knees Video’s too longAlready hyped from lineupsBut the crowd goes mild The Nido shuffleFinding holes where some don’tAnd grabbing asses Ah, that’s a… Continue reading

Day 288: Baseball Haikus – Angels at Yankees 6/30/2021

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Trying to warm upThe paparazzi followsNo moments alone Master of the moundBlasts moonshots almost nightlyShohei Ohtani Top of the 2nd: Angels 2, Yankees 7 It fell apart quickWalking everyone in sightHe’s already out… Continue reading

Day 281: Baseball Haiku Doubleheader – Phillies at Mets 6/25/21

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Top of the 1st: Phillies 0, Mets 0 Bruce fucking HooperCold at Citi for 3 yearsNot hot, never hot Vat of sauerkraut Brings back drunken memoriesOf eating handfuls Top of the 3rd: Phucks… Continue reading

Day 274: Baseball Haikus – Athletics at Yankees 06/19/21

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Thank you, Guard RailingFor protecting me from ballsAnd seeing batters Full capacityThis place is ready to rockYank fans are the best Sexy Kelly GreensSo much better than road grays More teams should do… Continue reading