Author Archive

Match of the Week: I Made Friends With A Trash Can

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They say that if you go to a wrestling show alone, you can always make friends with the person sitting next to you. Actually, “they” don’t say that. I think my therapist might’ve… Continue reading

Because The Days Are Finally Longer [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

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Happy Daylight Savings, everyone. Or as I like to call it: National Everybody Complains About Being Tired Day. I love seeing all the people online complaining about losing the hour of sleep, but… Continue reading

Baseball Haikus: Watching Water Boil

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The hands have been wrungThe damn lockout is overBaseball can resume For over 3 monthsThe teams have been stagnatingUnable to move Floodgates are openAll transactions can happenWhen the clock hits 6 But actuallyThe… Continue reading

I’d Rather Stay In This Parking Lot [Friday Thoughts W/ TeeCoZee]

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Good Moleman. Marge, can we set the oven to “Stun”? It’s Friday, March 11th, Two 0 Two Two. The weather in Jamaica is 45° & Pantone 15-3919 and somewhere, somebody is sizing it… Continue reading

468 Words About An Interaction With A Customer

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He’s got that lazy mad scientist vibe. His hoodie is dirty, his beard always scraggly and he wears hospital scrub pants, but he’s not in the medical field. He’s the 6th grade science… Continue reading

Top 5 Most Annoying Sounds In Wrestling

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I was watching ECW Heatwave ’98 because it’s Wednesday and I was struck by what I deduced to be the most annoying sound of all-time. It pierced into my skull so fiercely that… Continue reading

Songs That Suck – “Space For Two”

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It just isn’t a good day for you. Three people called in sick, a shipment of rotting chicken came in but the driver bounced, there’s some broken machines and an incessant beeping sound… Continue reading

Match of the Week: Pooping Through A Tornado

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Smarkmanship and droneness aside, I think we could all agree that for the most part, top to bottom, AEW’s Revolution PPV was stacked. Whether you were there for blood, surprises, Japanese homages, sonic… Continue reading

Because Fishing Needed To Be Televised Live [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

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Well…uhh…that was a week. I can’t really say it was particularly a good week for anyone, but it surely existed. On the bright side, it’s not warm AF outside. Allow me to give… Continue reading

Stale Cheez-Its [Saturday Haikus]

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It’s too damn earlyAnd yet I woke up lateAbusing the snooze I’m way too tiredTo check for mold in the breadNo sandwich for me Wasted too much timeBrowsing YouTube videosGran Turismo waits The… Continue reading