Author Archive

Skid Row Is For Chumps [Saturday Haikus]

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I’m seeing daylight Oh, that can’t be a good signAnd yet I’m still safe Diet Mountain DewWith a nonfat Greek yogurt,Japanese wrestling Zack Sabre JrStrap yourself to that rocket Dude has got the… Continue reading

I’d Rather Rename It A “Something Already Happened Indicator” [Friday Thoughts W/ TeeCoZee]

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Good Moleman. We’re talking about the M-A-L-L on M-A-R-S! Mallomars?!? That’s going in the act. It’s Friday, March 25th, 2zerotwenty2. The weather in Ozone Park is 56° & Pantone 16-0110 and somewhere, somebody… Continue reading

409 Words About The Big New Yorker Pizza

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Just because you remember something, it doesn’t mean that the thing was good. We inherently poke and prod at our nostalgia receptors whenever a discontinued item is brought up. It reminds us of… Continue reading

The Ballad Of Miranda Papes

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Every ball player has the same dream. Even some non-players have the dream. Bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, tie ballgame, championship on the line and the pitcher is getting gassed. You can… Continue reading

Veer Is Coming [Wrasslin’ For Lunch]

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Did you hear the news? Holy crap, you didn’t hear?!?!? Veer is coming! The most anticipated debut in WWE is upon us! You see, Veer was a wrestler on Raw, usually recognized as… Continue reading

Because I Had A Decent Bo Jackson Year [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

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As the sun sets on the 34th year of my life, I gotta say I’m a little surprised. I was convinced that I peaked at 25 but I guess it’s never too late… Continue reading

More Like “March Sadness” [Saturday Haikus]

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Dense fog rolling inYou can’t even see the trackIt’s a sport unknown Patrolling the lotSecurity follows meBut they do nothing I open up shopSoak in the brief morning calmThen quickly get bored Just… Continue reading

I’d Rather Not Put A Decal On My Porsche [Friday Thoughts W/ TeeCoZee]

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Good Moleman. I made some homemade Pepsi for the dance. It’s just a little slimy, it’s still good. It’s Friday, March 18th, Twenty-Two Two. The weather in Ozone Park is 56° & Pantone… Continue reading

317 Words About Rainy Thursdays

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You can do whatever you want. Because it’s Thursday.It’s raining outside.And you aint got shit to do. You can sit in bed for a while.Shake off the dizziness.You can make a bowl of… Continue reading

TeeCoZee’s NL East Preview 2022

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I partook in a weird activity this morning that’s usually only done by the most desperate fans, just needing one little tiny drop of dopamine before Spring Training inevitably starts: I watched a… Continue reading