Author Archive

Local Criminals To Celebrate Second Annual “Clarence Boddicker Day”

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–Detroit, MI This upcoming weekend marks the 22 year anniversary of the Detroit police strike. Many viewed it to be a magical weekend, filled with activities that fulfilled everyone’s wildest fantasies. This strike… Continue reading

The Misadventures of Being A Single Straight Sane White Male

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Top 5 Football For Supper Subjects That I Don’t Have The Time To Write!!!

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5) Why Can’t Athletes Keep Their Noses Clean? It’s becoming increasingly obvious that athletes are not normal people. They are role models, they are billionaires, they get their own gum and cereal boxes,… Continue reading

Urinal Texting: Taking Stalls By Storm

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“So I made it to the urinal. What now?” This question races across the minds of men across America around 7 times a day, 6 days a week. Traditionally, urinals have been used… Continue reading

Local Basketball Rivalry Inspires Some

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–Wealthy St. The tension in the air was thick, Sunday evening. At an unsuspecting Basketball court near the freeway, an infamous local basketball rivalry continued and gridlocked in an impromptu match. Robert “Nasty”… Continue reading

Top 5 Football Rap Videos

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Being The Coze, nothing spells “guilty pleasure” quite like football and rap music. And the combination of the two? Simply orgasmic. In the 80’s, it was an ongoing trend for NFL teams to… Continue reading

Grisly Murder Shakes The Outworld; Overjoys Some

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Parts Unknown, Outworld– The Outworld is in shambles today, after news broke out about the violent murder and torching of their long-running beloved leader, Raiden. Witnesses say that during a walk home through… Continue reading

Mickey Forkenstein: Sex, Drugs, and Elevators

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“Step into an elevator in 1995, and what do you hear? You don’t hear crying babies, or business people talking. You don’t hear those fags Yanni or Kenny G. No sir. All you… Continue reading

Questions To Ask Yourself While Playing Contra

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– If painkillers were never invented, would the whole world huff paint? – Will the future of sports entail running around hunting each other in bulletproof jumpsuits? – Will it be the new… Continue reading

El Cozo’s Top 5 Misconceptions Made Up By Advertisers

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In a new groundbreaking category on Baseball For Dinner, I will be making “Top 5” lists. Categories will be chosen at random from “Top 5 Fast Food Slogans” to “Top 5 Movies In… Continue reading