Author Archive

Day 222: Baseball Haikus – Red Sox at Mets

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Top 1: Red Sox 0, Mets 0 Short bearded hosersHanging out with their mothersHaving a Wednesday Top 2: Sawx 0, Mets 0 Mound trip alreadyTried to get their bearings straightWasting leadoff walks Bottom… Continue reading

Day 221: Breaking The Norms

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I was always told to not sit too close to the TV. We all were. It’s a normal thing to be told. But I never really listened, as NES and Genesis controller cords… Continue reading

Day 219: Because There’s 14 Guys Doing Nothing [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

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It’s allegedly the last day of the N train slingshot clusterfuck of doom and here I am once again, stupid enough to believe that it might be better this time. I’m dead wrong.… Continue reading

Day 216: 245 Words About Trees

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The malaise is real, my friends. I’m on day 6 of my work week and my brain is complete mush. To be fair, my brain was mush on day 1, but it’s also… Continue reading

Day 215: To The Nine Year Old

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Dear Birthday Boy, I was warned about you before we met. And as suspected, you instantly hated me. You greeted me with a hiss and a swat, and it didn’t get much better… Continue reading

Day 214: What Did I Even Do Yesterday?

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My short term memory has been fuzzy for some time. At some point, I got so lost in the malaise of adulthood and modern living that I started forgetting moments. Moments that I’m… Continue reading

Day 212: Because I Might As Well Take The R Train [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

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Another weekend comes and the N train is fucking broken again. Big surprises. This time, instead of slingshotting in the wrong direction first, I’m just gonna take the 12 minute hike to the… Continue reading

Day 211: What Is A Ton?

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There are expressions and slogans that we’ve been seeing our whole lives. They become so complacent that we are unable to think outside the box and see it in a different light. Some… Continue reading

Day 209: 487 Words About Washing Machines

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Oh, hi. I’m having some stomach issues today, so I’m too preoccupied to come up with an original topic. Which means it’s time to write about a random object! So, a coworker chose… Continue reading

Day 208: Bev of the Week – Sonic Slushes

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It’s a slow day at the drive-in. The traffic on the way might’ve told you otherwise. But despite your greatest fears, the gridlocked cars have better things to do and places to be… Continue reading