Author Archive

Day 163: Because February Was As Short As It Deserved To Be [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

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Go to hell, February. You’re a stupid month and nobody likes you. There’s a reason why you’re so short and it’s seemingly given you a Napoleon Complex. You think that because of your… Continue reading

Day 162: A Few Haikus About How Much I Hate Saturdays And The Stupid Inconsiderate Buttholes That I Encounter Every Time The Dreaded Day Hits

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Tourists everywhere They don’t care that it’s not safe Pull up your mask, please <> The train fills quickly Everyone wants their weekend Their god-given right <> Do you sell lighters? Where can… Continue reading

Day 161: I’d Rather Write On The Patio [Friday Thoughts W/ TeeCoZee]

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Good Moleman. Bake em away, toys. They are baked. That was fast. It’s Friday, February 26th, Two Zero Twenty One. The weather in Long Island City is 40° & Pantone 289C and somewhere,… Continue reading

Day 160: Top 5 Chickens

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If there’s anything I love more than the sound of a betting slip being dispensed out of a machine, it’s being controversial. I know for a fact that you all come to BFD… Continue reading

Day 159: I Had A Dream This Morning

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I had a dream last night. Or rather, it was this morning. That we had moved again. This time, to New Jersey. In Al Kaline’s old house. There was actually two houses. Both… Continue reading

Day 158: I’ll Never Understand Black Pants

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In 8th grade, our school band took a trip to Chicago. It was a very revelatory experience that had nothing to do with music. It was when I fell in love with deep… Continue reading

Day 157: Swerving For The Sake Of Swerve [WWE Elimination Chamber Roundup]

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It’s no surprise that last night’s Elimination Chamber PPV was the first one in which I noticed distinct advertising for Draft Kings. It seems a little suspect that a Sports Entertainment company would… Continue reading

Day 155: Get Inoculated!

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[For starters, I should confess that the title is misleading. The definition of inoculated, to my understanding, is to have cells from a virus inserted into your body in order to create an… Continue reading

Day 153: Dmitri Has To Make A Phone Call

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Dmitri has to make a phone call. But he has to do it in private, away from the house. He could do it on the way to the train, but it’s snowing. Snowing… Continue reading

Day 145: Some Days

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Some days, it’s a lot easier. Some days, it’s nearly impossible. Some days you’ll spend laughing. Some days you’ll spend in silence. Some days, there’s explosions. Some days, it’s uncomfortably quiet. Some days… Continue reading