Author Archive

Day 237: 219 Words Analyzing “Analysis”

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Hooray. It’s Thursday. The day where I’m at the literary mercy of a person I choose. And today, I made the mistake of choosing my lovely wife, Rachel, who I am going to… Continue reading

Day 236: Still Not Quite Summer

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It’s still not quite SummerWe can’t get ahead of ourselvesMother Nature just has a feverAs she rapidly shifts her climates It’s still not quite SummerI could tell when I walked out the doorAs… Continue reading

Day 233: Because You Should Be Spending Time With Your Mom Instead [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

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It’s Mother’s Day. There’s probably better things you should be doing with your life than reading lists. Like hanging out with Mom. Or at least calling her. So I’m not going to waste… Continue reading

Day 232: Baseball Haikus – Diamondbacks at Mets

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Ass Cab bends overRapidly rubbing his batWelcome Back, Ass Cab Gallen stands on deckPretending to practice swings The hair on this man Top of the 3rd – Diamondbacks 4, Mets 0 Glasses are… Continue reading

Day 230: 327 Words About Pineapple

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Well, it’s Thursday. Time for another “Untitled Thing Where I Ask A Person To Pick A Number Between 200 and 500 And Name A Random Object That’s Not In Front Of Them”. Wow,… Continue reading

Day 229: The Empty W

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The W is empty. For a moment, I have the whole place to myself. This is my place now. Make yourself at home. Welcome. Keep your shoes on. Keep your mask on, too.… Continue reading

Day 228: Mark’s Common Mullein

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Mark adjusts again in his squeaky lawn chair. He told himself that he was going to stay outside all day, he at least owes himself that. And damnit, he’s sticking to his guns.… Continue reading

Day 226: Because It May Be May [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

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Oh snap, it’s May! Cool. Whatever. I played daily fantasy yesterday for the sole purpose of betting a dollar on Dustin May. Because Dustin May was pitching on May Day. He got through… Continue reading

Day 224: I’d Rather Go To Circuit City [Friday Thoughts W/ TeeCoZee]

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Good Moleman. Hello, my name is Mr. Kurns. I believe you have a letter for me. Okay, Mr Kurns, what’s your first name? It’s Kurns, stupid! It’s Friday, April 30th, Twenty Deux Une.… Continue reading

Day 223: 369 Words About Steak

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It’s Thursday. And you know what that means. Actually, you probably don’t. I don’t really know, either. But I’ve decided that Thursday is the day that I write a random number of words… Continue reading