Because I Missed Listing Things [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

It’s been a long time since I made a list of lists. This is because I’m terrible at writing ideas down and definitely not due to a lack of ideas. I’m coming up with lists all the damn time, but then I don’t write them down and my old brain forgets them within seconds. If I had a list for every time I forgot to write down a list idea, I would have something to replace the lost idea with. And since I’m still not writing things down, I’m just gonna have to wing it. Because I missed writing lists. So here’s some lists:

5) Top 5 Body Parts To Crack

5) Back

4) Jaw

3) Fingers

2) Knees

1) Neck

There is truly nothing in the world more relieving than a good neck crack. Like one that makes you think your head may cleanly fall off. I spend way too much time chasing that feeling, constantly tilting my head to the side to see if it’s time. And when it happens, it makes all the hard work worth it. Goddamn I love a neck crack.

4) Top 5 Baseball Positions

5) Right Field

4) Catcher

3) Center Field

2) Pitcher

1) Shortstop

Shortstop is the ultimate position because it has the most variance. Corner infielders hit for power, outfielders hit for average, catchers don’t hit at all, but shortstops feature all of those traits. Some hit dingers, some have speed and some keep their jobs based on their defensive prowess. You can’t pigeonhole a shortstop to having a specific playing style because they just don’t. They’re the wild cards and that’s why they rule so damn much.

3) Top 5 Fashion Traits

5) Swag

4) Snappiness

3) Class

2) Grunginess

1) Pizazz

I can never decide if I want to have grunginess or pizazz when I wake up in the morning. Back when I was a skinnier man that read books, I was all about pizazz. It was my identity. But now that I’m a fat dude that watches wrestling, I feel like my stylistic choices need to shift with it. I don’t even know if it’s grungy. I just wear wrestling shirts, hoodies and Dunks. I don’t know what the fuck that is. But it’s got no pizazz.

2) Top 5 Benefits Of Working In A Parking Lot

5) Every lunch break is a tailgate

4) Smokers can find their own corner to smoke in

3) You don’t have to be presentable

2) There’s always somewhere to park

1) Nobody knows that you’re there

The main takeaway that I have from the new location and also the new job in general is that we are very well hidden in a remote, inconvenient location. This means that people that don’t need to be there won’t bother us. And it’s fucking beautiful. Now if somebody wants to complain to me, they have to ride a golf cart or send an email. It’s truly a blessed existence.

1) Top 5 New Pictures In My Camera Roll






After a 13 hour work day, there’s nothing more beautiful than a note from your loved one in the fridge. Especially when the note is attached to the most dank ass empanadas I’ve ever had in my goddamn life!

Have a delicious week, everyone!

– TeeCoZee