Baseball Haikus: Blue Jays at Yankees, 4/11/22

Cold wind is hitting
This was a major mistake
Damn April baseball

I just missed the smells
Of popcorn and fresh cut grass
Armpits on the train

An untethered view
Nobody in front of me
Rail blocks the batter

I’m out of lead
In the top of the second
Scoring with a pen

A pitchers duel
Is a very welcome thing
On these chilly nights

A chorus of boos
Serenaded George Springer
So he cranked a dong

Losing his control
Alek Manoah throws balls
And balls and balls and

An angry white dude
On a tirade ‘bout Snoop Dogg
Making NFTs

Too many people
Jamming the cellular waves
Can’t even send GIFs

A bicycle horn
Ringing loudly in my ear
Fucking hate The Bronx

The knees are creaking
Front row was a bad idea
There’s nowhere to stretch

The fair weathered fan
Just rooting for some action
The way it should be

They’re only cheering for him
‘Cause he’s not Gary

Dude took his shirt off
Sponsored by Arm & Hammer
Are his weak muscles

Have yourself a night,
Santiago Espinal
Getting hits on hits

The cap game is rigged
Graphic inconsistencies
It’s all a crap shoot

It’s too cold to type
My thumbs need to thaw out some
But there’s no relief

We hate Michael King
For his mollasses windup
Just throw the damn ball

The first time ever
Saw the Yankees get shut-out
Best game ever, man.

– TeeCoZee