TeeCoZee’s AL West Preview 2022

There are many words that can be used to describe the state of the AL West going into 2022. But the most accurate and efficient one seems to be “fucked”. That’s all there is to it. The division is fucked. And I mean that in the best possible way. Just 2 days before the start of the season, we have no idea how any of these teams are going to pan out. We don’t know if the Mariners can carry last year’s luck and improve on it. We don’t know if the 2 best players in baseball can actually make the playoffs. We don’t know if Oakland’s fire sale is going to actually mean anything. We don’t know if the Astros can even take themselves seriously after failing over and over and over again. What the fuck are the Texas Rangers anyway? There’s so many things about the AL West that I don’t know. But there is one thing I know: I have to write about it. So let’s do that…

Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim

What’s New: Noah Syndergaard, Tyler Wade, Michael Lorenzen, Matt Duffy

What’s Gone: Dylan Bundy, Alex Cobb and apparently, my mind

Coze’s Prediction: 92-70

Right off the bat, I’m dropping an atomic bomb. Yes. I think the Angels could take the West. That being said, a whole lot of things need to go right. The team needs to stay healthy and sober. And they need to be able to win games in the clutch. If all of those things happen, they have the pieces to be a dominant team. You have the two best players in baseball on one team, and one of them is a two-way player. They can’t possibly fuck this up! Right?


Houston Astros

What’s New: Niko Goodrum, a lack of transactions

What’s Gone: Carlos Correa, Zach Greinke, Marwin Gonzalez

Coze’s Prediction: 86-76

I mean nothing but disrespect when I say that I forgot the Astros won the pennant last year. After years of choking, they don’t rent too much space in my head anymore. Regardless, they were still my shoe-in pick to win the West again, but then I looked at the transactions. This team has done literally nothing to improve and lost 3 key pieces to their roster. They have shown some massive vulnerabilities and after all, they are technically a small-market team. Sucks to suck, suckers.

Texas Rangers

What’s New: Corey Seager, Marcus Semien, Kole Calhoun, Jon Gray, Mitch Garver and probably 50 other guys

What’s Gone: Isiah Kiner-Falefa, some money

Coze’s Prediction: 84-78

On Opening Day, when you sit down to watch your favorite team take the field, take a look at the starting lineups. You’ll probably notice that a player you liked is gone. Chances are, that player is a Texas Ranger. Nobody knows where the money came from, but they just started scooping every player under the sun. There’s probably some signings that we don’t know about yet. They’ll just show up suddenly, AEW style. But will they win, especially in this stacked division? Maybe…

Seattle Mariners

What’s New: Jesse Winker, Eugenio Suarez, Robbie Ray

What’s Gone: Jake Fraley, Kyle Seager, James Paxton

Coze’s Prediction: 82-80

It’s difficult to predict how the Mariners are going to do this year. They captured our hearts and minds when they went on the surprise playoff run last year, only to choke in their own sold out ballpark. The universe was aligned for that team to win and there’s no say as to how it’s going to trend now. They made some smart moves and completely robbed Cincinnati in the process. They could probably contend in any division, except the AL West.

Oakland Athletics

What’s New: Players To Be Named Later

What’s Gone: The Entire Fucking Team

Coze’s Prediction: 69-93

I feel such sorrow and anger for Athletics fans. Not only did they have to sit and watch other teams implement Moneyball better, but now they don’t even have a team to root for. I have never seen such a merciful gutting of a franchise since Jose Fernandez died (so…not that long). To add injury to insult, after they traded the team away, they jacked up ticket prices. Clowns.

If you’ve been wondering why my takes have been so short, it’s because I’ve devoted one word per win predicted. I just didn’t feel like mentioning it from the get-go, so it didn’t seem like a gimmick. But I can’t hide. I am a gimmick writer. So what now? What are we supposed to do until Opening Day? Well, I’m already two beers deep. So I’m gonna watch some Spring Training and attempt to cook dinner. I suggest you do the same.

Play ball. Eventually.

– TeeCoZee