TeeCoZee’s AL Central Preview 2022

Most divisions are set in stone year in and year out. For a good amount of time, the same teams will be contending and the same teams will be bottom feeding, although sometimes you have to switch the Cubs and Reds. The AL Central, on the other hand, doesn’t follow any formula. At the beginning of the year, the teams seemingly reset in quality and the season starts as a blank canvas. The only sure thing this year is that the White Sox will be good, because they’re just currently built that way. Everything else is up in the air. But I’ll try my best to make some sense out of it and make wild predictions that make no sense.

Chicago White Sox

I can’t believe he’s hooking up with my mistress…

Whats New: Joe Kelly, Vince Velasquez, Faith

What’s Gone: Carlos Rodon, Tim Beckham, Billy Hamilton lol

Coze’s Prediction: 93-69

Just when you thought the most scary bullpen in baseball couldn’t get any scarier, they went and made themselves scarier. The addition of Joe Kelly bolsters their relief staff, joining the likes of Craig Kimbrel, Liam Hendricks, Garrett Crochet and Aaron Bummer (who is no longer a Bummer). They could all be closers somewhere, but instead, they’re the 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th and 9th inning guys. Which is helpful, considering that they lost Carlos Rodon. You don’t have to worry about Lance Lynn being gassed after 4 when you have diesel in the pen.

Detroit Tigers

What’s New: Javy Baez, Michael Pineda, Andrew Chafin, Tucker Barnhart

What’s Gone: Derek Holland, Julio Teheran, last place finishes

Coze’s Prediction: 85-77

This is the one hot take I have. While I feel like my predictions have been totally grounded and realistic, homerism prevails here. Something just seems different about this Tigers team. The core is young and the rebuilding seems to be going alright. And now the ownership has suddenly decided to spend money and actually fulfill the needs that the team needs. That’s a sure sign that a team is going to have a breakout year. Because the owners know better than we do. Cough.

Minnesota Twins

What’s New: Carlos Correa, Chris Archer, Sonny Gray, Gio Urshela, Gary Sanchez, Dylan Bundy

What’s Gone: Josh Donaldson, Willians Astudillo, Alex Colome

Coze’s Prediction: 80-82

I have to give it to the Twins. They made an assload of moves. They might’ve had the most exciting offseason, getting involved with the confusing blockbuster Yankee trade and signing Cheating Dickbag Fucker, Carlos Correa. This is clearly a team that’s trying to do…something. But I’m not sure if it’s winning. I think they’re just making a bunch of fancy moves to put butts in the seats. Correa aside, most of the guys they picked up are just filler.

Kansas City Royals

What’s New: Zack Greinke, Amir Garrett, Taylor Clarke,

What’s Gone: Mike Minor, Wade Davis, Ervin Santana, Greg Holland

Coze’s Prediction: 77-85

It appears that the Royals have quietly been functioning as an old folks home. Last year, they let their former great pitchers, Davis, Holland and Santana have one last shot at glory. And now it looks like Greinke has also chosen KC as a nice and quiet place to retire. I get it. Kansas City a very non-offensive city, the food is good and the uniforms are kinda dope. Just don’t expect to, you know, win much.

Cleveland Guardians

What’s New: The name, “Guardians”

What’s Gone: The name, “Indians”

Coze’s Prediction: 70-92

Not gonna lie, I’m a huge fan of the name/logo change. Even the new C is better than the old C. It was the right thing to do and it goes to show that the franchise cares about what the world thinks about it. Just on the political optics side, though. The team is still garbage and they did absolutely nothing to remedy that. But still, IT’S A NEW TEAM!

– TeeCoZee