Skid Row Is For Chumps [Saturday Haikus]

I’m seeing daylight
Oh, that can’t be a good sign
And yet I’m still safe

Diet Mountain Dew
With a nonfat Greek yogurt,
Japanese wrestling

Zack Sabre Jr
Strap yourself to that rocket
Dude has got the goods

A lump in my mouth
Allergic reaction to
Artificial sweets?

Metallica blasts
As I zoom down the parkway
Saturday living

Siri, fuck Skid Row
All my homies hate Skid Row
Stop suggesting them

Truck is a-humming
Working the Dubai races
A long day for them

The boredom sets in
With no more changes to make
Can we start the show?

Keep thinking about
How generic Skid Row is
A band for true chumps

Got no room to talk
After all, I drove to work
Blasting Metallica

Turkey and pizza
But not in the same order
Today, I shall feast

Where’s the fucking ball?
I can’t see, it’s up there, shit
Now it’s on the ground

Right out of nowhere
Taijuan Walker grew some hair
The shag suits him well

It’s just really weird
To have Nelson Cruz playing
National League ball

Coming down like rain
Falls a thing that they call rain
Damn Josh Donaldson

The faster they run
The faster they can break down
Life comes at you fast

My boy, Mark Canha
Sliding home in spring training
He’s the real Nineteen

A man, slowly giving
A cowboy hat to a kid
Like he even asked

Prospect, Jake Magnum
Actually, no, it’s “Mangum”
It’s still a strong name

Announcer’s intense
The ssssssssseventh ssssssssssstud muffin ssssssssssssssstakes
The voice of racing

Into the sunset
Blasting some 311
That was a long day

– TeeCoZee