Match of the Week: I Made Friends With A Trash Can

They say that if you go to a wrestling show alone, you can always make friends with the person sitting next to you. Actually, “they” don’t say that. I think my therapist might’ve said it once, but it’s bad advice. Most wrestling fans are mouth-breathing scum, which means I fit right in. But in the case of Friday night, that task was impossible. For one, I wasn’t sitting. I was standing, leaning against a pretzel bar, pretending to be a cool guy. Also, the only nearby companion I had was a trash can.

That’s not to say there’s nothing wrong with standing next to a trash can. This one was hella popular. People were constantly coming by to throw things away. Some would compliment on my Botchamania shirt, but then the conversation couldn’t go anywhere, because I was standing next to a trash can. And if I wasn’t standing next to the trash can, nobody would compliment on the shirt. But I digress.

I can’t tell if I’m getting too old or too fat or both, but standing still in place does not vibe with me anymore. Two hours into the show, my back was howling and the nerves in my left foot were ablaze. Thinking there was still many matches to be had, I started to worry. But lo and behold, our main event was upon us. Which was also good for my buddy, because he was starting to overflow.

The match was booked to be The Lucha Bros va The Briscoes. This seemed impossible, considering the fact that Rey Felix is still recovering from his dislocated elbow (that he hurt the last time I saw him in person). But they refused to change the card and the venue filled to capacity because of it. And when “Cero Miedo” was screamed over the PA, the place became unhinged.

But Rey Fenix was wearing street clothes. Because, duh.

Not able to compete, he was eventually replaced by Arez, a guy that I’ve seen in GCW a few times. He was seemingly a familiar face to the House of Glory crowd, because we were hyped all the same. Some guy in front of me even folded up his chair and played guitar with it. It was fuckin’ on!

I often forget how loud chops are in person. Every time there was a hard strike, the feeling travelled through my whole body and I would audibly wince. And them Briscoe Boys were chopping hard. Arez got a few good spots underway in a hurry, as if he felt a need to win over the hot crowd. He didn’t. Even the garbage can was happy to see him.

What followed was 13 minutes of the typical chaos that you would expect from the two teams. Mark Briscoe used a chair to launch a Topé, as per usual. Penta and Mark knocked each other out with synchronized roundhouse kicks, which popped us even more. Jay Briscoe did some sort of fucked up cartwheel backdrop. They even did that top rope stomp that Andrade did last week, (which I ended up seeing again 3 times in between the two matches. Its the fucking move of the week, I guess).

In the end, the Briscoes prevailed. This was expected, as the ROH Tag Titles were on the line. It wasn’t the best match I’ve seen either tag team in, but having it happen 15 feet away from you in a small room of screaming fans was something to behold. Afterwards, Rey came out and helped give Penta and Arez their flowers. All in all, House of Glory puts on a damn fun show. It was quick, to the point and had a few bangers. Well worth the 20 bucks and back pain.

I have a feeling I’m going to be seeing that trash can again.

– TeeCoZee