Because The Days Are Finally Longer [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]
Happy Daylight Savings, everyone. Or as I like to call it: National Everybody Complains About Being Tired Day. I love seeing all the people online complaining about losing the hour of sleep, but yet, they’re probably not working. As a guy that has essentially worked every Spring Ahead Sunday, I’m here to tell you that it’s not that bad. The beginning of the day sucks, just like every Sunday. But then when 6:00 comes and there’s still sunshine, holy shit, there just isn’t a better feeling. It’s that sweet realization of relief that Winter is ending and soon there will be baseball, pollen, downed windows, short sleeves and Vans without socks. Spring is coming and it’s well worth losing an hour of your life. I would’ve wasted it anyway. Here’s some lists!
5) Top 5 Sandwich Cheeses
4) Pepper Jack
But actually, this list is bullshit. Different cheeses go on different sandwiches. I’m not putting Swiss on my Gabagool and I’m sure as hell not putting Mozz on a Turkey Sando. Cheddar and Pepper Jack goes on an egg sandwich and provolone goes on a cheesesteak. I really should’ve made a list of Sandos.
4) Top 5 Sandos To Go With The Top 5 Cheeses I Guess
5) Philly Cheesesteak
3) Egg with bacon
There. Happy, now? I don’t even know who I’m asking. I’m tired. Lousy farmers.
3) Top 5 Times To “Spring Ahead”
5) Wednesday at 4:00 PM
4) Thursday at 8:00 PM
3) Monday at Noon
2) Friday at 3:00 PM
1) Monday at 10:00 PM
When you think about it, Daylight Savings is arbitrary. We could really set our clocks forward and backwards anytime we damn well please, as long as we’re all doing it. With that said, the work day could stand to be shorter on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Thursday nights typically suck, so that could be shorter. But why is Monday at 10 the most optimal? Because for one time every year, I would like Raw to not be 3 hours long.
2) Top 5 Free Agents That I’m Not Shocked About Not Having Signed Yet
5) Michael Pineda
4) Joc Pederson
3) Danny Duffy
2) Kenley Jansen
1) Michael Conforto
Kenley is high on this list because you know he’s going to be overpaid no matter what. When he’s on, he’s the most elite closers in the game. But the dude has been a total liability since the Astros broke him in ‘17. And Conforto played like absolute dogshit last year and on top of that, is a Boras client. You literally can’t get any worse than that. It’s like hiring a wrestler that’s sloppy and racist. You probably shouldn’t do it, despite his previous success.
1) Top 5 Pictures In My Camera Roll
I’ve spent the entire week laughing at pictures of abnormally sized wrestler renders. And you know what? I’m sure I’ll do it again this week. Because for some reason, it’ll never get old. I am a child.
Have an abnormal week, everyone!