Day 331: Because I Have A Lot Of Time To Kill [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

I went to the stadium early to get a free parking spot. The spot was so good that it looks conspicuous. And I’m here so early that I don’t even know what to do. So while I occasionally stand up to haplessly try to retrieve batting practice balls, I’ll write some lists in the meantime. Because, you know, I have to do that.

5) Top 5 Perks Of Getting To The Stadium Early

5) Watching the away team jobbers hit grounders

4) No lines at security

3) Being able to fit a meal in before first pitch

2) Not being in a rush to fill out my scorebook

1) Free parking/empty trains

Transportation can make or break your game-attending experience. If you’re packed into a sardine can or waiting in line for the privilege to pay $30 for parking, it could ruin the whole night. Arrive early, arrive in a good mood.

4) Top 5 Downsides Of Getting To The Stadium Early

5) Getting buttlock waiting for the game to start

4) Having somebody already sitting in your seat for BP

3) Not having anything to do for hours

2) Having the sun shine directly in your face

1) The kids that jump up and down and scream for balls

Maybe I’m just bitter about the fact that I’ve never gotten a ball. As a kid, I was too introverted to get the players attention. As an adult, I have the handicap of not being a kid. I got one on accident a couple of weeks ago and I got conned into giving it to a kid. That kid had a bag full of balls. I regret everything.

3) Top 5 Things I Don’t Feel Bad About Purchasing At The Ballpark

5) Pins

4) Baseball cards

3) Chicken Tenders

2) Hats

1) Topo Chico Hard Seltzer

I don’t care if I have a 12 pack chilling in the fridge, I will spend the 15 bucks for a can of Topo Chico. It’s just so goddamn refreshing. In fact, I might go get one right now.

2) Top 5 Games I’ve Attended In 2021

5) Blue Jays 3, Yankees 1, April 4

4) Braves 1, Mets 2, July 28

3) Brewers 3, Mets 4, July 7 (Game 1)

2) Diamondbacks 4, Mets 5 (10 innings), May 7

1) Nationals 0, Mets 6, April 23

The April 23rd game was so great, I wrote a goddamn article about it. Seeing Jacob deGrom pitch the best game of his life was a deletions experience that I’ll never forget. If I ever have grandkids, they’ll get sick of hearing about it. They’ll think that the name Jacob is stupid and dated, because we reverted to naming ball players Dizzy and Boogner. But I’ll tell the story anyway, every Easter.

1) Top 5 New Pictures In My Camera Roll






Actually, damn, a hot dog sounds kinda good right now. I’m gonna go get one. Go Dodgers!

Have a week that’s rich in bunly goodness!

– TeeCoZee