Day 330: Baseball Haikus – Dodgers at Mets 08/13/2021

Bronson on the mic
High out of his goddamn mind
Calling the lineups

Much to my dismay,
Mrs Met looks sexier
In a black jersey.

Bottom of the 1st: Dodgers 1, Mets 0

Clapping for the Mets
But yelling for the Dodgers
I’m a shitty fan

*******************

Billy’s not pictured
But he threw a Honda strike
First one of the year

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A cool hot dog breeze
Came rolling in from right field
Sweet, tasty relief

Top of the 5th: Los Angeles 3, New York 0

Economical
Is how Julio pitches
Yet he pitches slow

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It’s so confusing
Rooting for both teams to win.
A force of habit.

Albert Almora
Your line is so weak that I‘d
Prefer Allessa

Bottom of the 6th: Doyers 4, Los Mets 0

The guy behind me
Yelling on top of his lungs
Feels just like the Bronx

*******************

He got the whole crowd
To do a jumbo dick chant
For JD Davis

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His black chubbies shorts
Rides up his thighs way too high
I fucking hate him

It’s time for Bruhl’s Rules
The show where he kind of rules
But he also drools

*********************

No, Bruhl did not rule
He just failed to get an out
Or even throw strikes

Top of the 9th: Bridegrooms 4, Metropolitans 4

The heat is stifling
And the game is a stalemate
Just score a damn run

*******************

The curse is lifted
As Will Smith blasts a moonshot
My breath is still held

Final (10 Innings): Chavez Ravine 6, Corona Park 5

They hung on to win
And we struggle to get out
Of the parking lot

– TeeCoZee