Day 330: Baseball Haikus – Dodgers at Mets 08/13/2021

Bronson on the mic
High out of his goddamn mind
Calling the lineups

Much to my dismay,
Mrs Met looks sexier
In a black jersey.

Bottom of the 1st: Dodgers 1, Mets 0

Clapping for the Mets
But yelling for the Dodgers
I’m a shitty fan


Billy’s not pictured
But he threw a Honda strike
First one of the year


A cool hot dog breeze
Came rolling in from right field
Sweet, tasty relief

Top of the 5th: Los Angeles 3, New York 0

Is how Julio pitches
Yet he pitches slow


It’s so confusing
Rooting for both teams to win.
A force of habit.

Albert Almora
Your line is so weak that I‘d
Prefer Allessa

Bottom of the 6th: Doyers 4, Los Mets 0

The guy behind me
Yelling on top of his lungs
Feels just like the Bronx


He got the whole crowd
To do a jumbo dick chant
For JD Davis


His black chubbies shorts
Rides up his thighs way too high
I fucking hate him

It’s time for Bruhl’s Rules
The show where he kind of rules
But he also drools


No, Bruhl did not rule
He just failed to get an out
Or even throw strikes

Top of the 9th: Bridegrooms 4, Metropolitans 4

The heat is stifling
And the game is a stalemate
Just score a damn run


The curse is lifted
As Will Smith blasts a moonshot
My breath is still held

Final (10 Innings): Chavez Ravine 6, Corona Park 5

They hung on to win
And we struggle to get out
Of the parking lot

– TeeCoZee