Day 324: Because I Still Can’t Come Up With A Title [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

I never take my Sunday writing seriously. To be fair, I don’t take any of this writing seriously, unless it’s a piece you haven’t read. The ones I care about the most get the least traffic. Effort is for suckers. Either way, it’s the same story every week: I write my lists at the last second and then I spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to come up with a title and opening paragraph. So instead of actually trying this week, I’m just going to leave it like this. So you can see what my writing process is like. You know, for science. Also, it’s my 324th day, cut me some goddamn slack. HERES SOME LISTS.

5) Top 5 Things That I Saw This Week

5) A Penguin

4) Max Scherzer getting a curtain call

3) A Spider Crab

2) Willy in his new chair

1) Rachel’s beautiful face after a long day

Life is hard. Especially these days, it’s hard for all of us. But at least some of us are us have someone to come home to after a miserable day. I know a lot of times I take it for granted, but on days like today, I can’t wait to get home to see her. The thought of it kind of makes everything seem okay.

4) Top 5 States That I Want To Visit Solely Because They Exist And I’ve Never Been There

5) Vermont

4) Hawaii

3) Colorado

2) Alaska

1) Texas

I find it ducking weird that I’ve never been to Texas. It’s humungous, how could I miss it?!? I don’t even know what I would do in Texas. I’d probably just take a bunch of pictures of stuff that are the same size as their Non-Texas counterparts. Because if 20 oz Sodas aren’t bigger in Texas, than the whole motto is flawed.

3) Top 5 Hand Gestures To Signify That It’s “All Good”

5) Peace sign

4) Hang loose

3) High-Five

2) Thumbs up

1) Waving your hand forward and letting it sit downright for a second

I’d probably say that the high-five was number one, but with Covid and my latent social anxiety, it got bumped a couple of notches.

2) Top 5 Insulting Names That I Outta Use More Often

5) Dummy Dumb Dumb

4) Nimrod

3) Jamoke

2) Bozo

1) Bing bong

Rachel says Bing Bong all the time and whenever she does, it brings me endless joy. But in the heat of the moment, when I’m really dealing with the ineptitude of someone, I’m never clever enough to say it. I always fall back on moron, idiot or asshole. It’s something I really need to work on.

1) Top 5 New Pictures In My Camera Roll






We got a vintage chair yesterday for an absolute bargain. Doesn’t even have that much old lady smell to get out. I was worried that Willy would claw the shit out of it, but rather, he’s taken a liking to it. Now he doesn’t have to bother us on the couch when he wants to watch wrestling. Win-win!

Have a thrifty week, everyone!

– TeeCoZee