Day 317: Because I Had Myself A Good Week [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

I’m not gonna lie. It’s impossible for me to lie. Trust me, you don’t want me to lie. It’s real awkward. Also, trust me because I can’t lie. I might not be the best person in the world, I have surely done some terrible things and hold some even worse opinions, but at least I’m honest. Unless it’s about me being late for work. That I can lie about. It’s real easy. Where was I? Oh yeah. I’m not gonna lie, I just had a really good week. I hit rock bottom at 11AM on Monday and it was nothing but uphill from there. There was a lot of circumstances helping it, but this is the most “me” I’ve felt in months. But now that I’m acknowledging it, I’m starting to feel myself slip. This tends to happen to me a lot, as soon as I recognize that things are really good. Guess I do have something to tell the therapist tomorrow. I might not be out of the woods, but at least there’s a lot of shade to hide in. And while I hide from the sun, here’s some lists!

5) Top 5 Asshole Cars Of The Week

5) Mercedes with no license plate – tried to side-swipe me

4) Yellow Cab Van – Cut me off, only to immediately change lanes

3) Garbage truck – Parked sideways to take up the entire street while they picked up trash

2) Porsche – insisted on driving 12 MPH

1) BMW SUV – Parked directly in front of my garage door

I almost went nuclear on the BMW parked in from of my garage door. Luckily, I have two doors, but it took a lot of awkward maneuvering to get there. I felt very compelled to leave a note, key it and try to get it towed. But I was running late (because of him (I’m assuming it was a him)) and when I got back, the car was gone. He got lucky this time. And he probably will next time, too.

4) Weirdest Instruments To Busk With

5) French Horn

4) Kazoo

3) Oboe

2) Any combination of instruments at the same time

1) Bagpipes

Every Sunday morning, a guy has been playing bagpipes under my train station. At first I thought it was a recording playing from outside the pub, but I finally saw him today. He’s just standing there on the corner of 31st and Broadway, bag piping his face off. He’s not even that good at it, but then again, I don’t know how possible it is to be good at it. Bagpipes are a very divisive instrument and one that I feel like has a very low talent ceiling.

3) Top 5 Worst Sock-Related Offenses

5) Crocs without socks

4) Boat shoes with socks

3) Ankle socks with shorts and sneakers

2) Colorful socks with a suit

1) Socks with sandals

This one was half-way suggested by my Aunt Rose. Or at least I think it was? I asked her to give me list ideas and she rambled about footwear. So there you go, the worst sock-related offenses. I hope I was close and non-offensive. I’m sure number 3 is going to ruffle some feathers, but that’s a personal preference. I feel like it’s really tacky to see a little bit of sock hanging out of a shoe. Especially when the sock has a brand name on it, or just plain says “USA”. I feel like the USA Ankle Socks are very popular among food delivery guys. I have no evidence to back this up.

2) Top 5 Highlights Of My Week

5) Conforto’s perfect throw in the 9th

4) Getting a thumbs up from Joc Pederson

3) The trade deadline

2) Waking up with a clear head

1) My parents visiting

My parents came to visit for a couple days and it was absolutely wonderful. Rachel kicked our asses at mini golf, the Mets won, we stood in lines at the Met, my Mom got heat exhaustion, WE DID IT ALL! But mostly, we just sat around and watched TV, which was all I ever wanted. We simulated the at-home experience in my own home and that’s something that we have never really done before. I just wish it didn’t cost them hundreds of dollars, because I wish they would come and watch TV with us more often!

1) Top 5 New Pictures In My Camera Roll






Find yourself a set of parents that love each other as much as mine do. And then take them to the Met and make them pose in front of a fountain. You too could take a cute picture like this one.

Have a patient week, everyone!

– TeeCoZee