Day 313: Stupid Storyline Ideas – Happy Corbin [Wrasslin’ For Lunch]

Things just keep getting worse and worse for Baron Corbin. First, he loses his crown to Shinsuke Nakamura. Then, a bunch of his investments tank. Suddenly, the jerk has no money left. His house was foreclosed, his car was towed, repossessed and resold to Shinsuke. He resorted to starting a fundraiser website for himself, but the webmaster screwed him over and stole his identity. His 9 O’Clock shadow is filled with greys and his hairline makes him look like a disgruntled library sciences professor. He even convinced Kevin Owens to give him 20 bucks, but then he promptly got hit in the nuts with a Nerf missile and got mugged by Dolph Ziggler for some reason. Things literally could not get worse for Baron Corbin. But they will.

Enter: Repo Man.

Kids love nostalgia for stuff that they never experienced. They eat it up like taffy. Considering how over Ted DiBiase has been in his comeback, this is a total green light for Barry Darsow to do the same. He starts out with video vignettes of Repo Man cleaning out Corbin’s locker/shopping cart/shed during his matches, causing him to lose over and over. He even loses to Shorty G in his whitey tighteys because Repo Man took all his clothes. Over weeks, Repo Man becomes the reason for his undoing, the puppetmaster to his agony, the spit to his cheeseburger.

This all comes to a head in a video package set at Corbin’s mother’s house. Apparently, because he’s such a loser, even his Mom’s stuff is getting repossessed by Repo Man and his Repo Boys. So he issues him a challenge. If he can drive a golf ball farther, he gets all of his stuff back. Repo Man agrees and chuckles maniacally. What Corbin doesn’t remember is that Barry Darsow also had a gimmick in WCW called, “Mr Hole In One”. And Barry drives the ball into outer fucking space. Dejected, Corbin goes to take his shot, but hits Repo Man in the head in his backswing, rendering him unconscious. Smarks will complain that this is exactly what Cameron Grimes did to LA Knight and that it’s another example of WWE completely disregarding NXT. But herein lies the twist.

Repo Man doesn’t wake up.

A business card magically appears in his hand, stating that because he has incapacitated Repo Man, he himself must become Repo Man.

And that’s why WWE bought the trademark to the name, “Happy Corbin”. In the spirit of the hit 1995 film, “The Santa Clause”, Baron Corbin becomes both Repo Man and Mr Hole In One. Renamed Happy Corbin, as a play on Happy Gilmore, he goes around the WWE repossessing wrestler’s stuff and challenging them to golf in order to get the items back.

The gimmick lasts for 6 weeks and then is swiftly shut down. Corbin spends the rest of his days hanging out in catering, trying to learn Spanish and is eventually released in 2025. But at least Happy Corbin had his 15 minutes of fame.

– TeeCoZee