Day 302: Lazy Haiku Saturday

Woke up around ten
Already fully prepared
To relax all day

Ah yes, cold pizza
The breakfast of champions
With extra olives

The salon is full
It looks like our appointment
Will not be on time

A maskless jerkface
Gets her feet rubbed before us
Tin foil on her hands

Heartburn settles in
Much more vicious than lately
Guess it’s time to bail

Popped in a book store
Pretending that I don’t have
Books to read upstairs

She left me at home
With just a burning stomach
And Nitro to watch

Oh, Chris and Nancy
Just blissfully unaware
Of how bad it ends

My boy, Hugh Morris
He was born a Juggalo
With his clown ass laugh

But what will Sting do?
Where does his allegiance lie?
He just gives free bats

Finally back home
Nitro does not amuse her
So we’ll watch Space Jam

Look, it’s Don Cheadle
But he lives in a server
Being a villain

He calls it DomBall
It’s different than basketball
Lebron don’t get it

He’s pushing his son
To make it a better game
But he’s fucking twelve

Dom is always stuck
Between following dreams
And his shitty dad

This is basically
A Lawnmower Man reboot
With no Cyboman

Twenty minutes in
And this movie has lost me
How is this for kids?

God bless Tony Hawk
Now I can pretend to skate
Anywhere I go

Northern Boulevard
Feels oddly like Saginaw
With a dope skyline

Found the best Michaels
Has all of the needed threads
And no old women

Most Slurpees are out
Except for some peachy shit
That isn’t half bad

He sat here all day
While I did nothing elsewhere
What a life he has

Writing my haikus
While trying to watch the game
But not haiku it

I hate Saturdays
But this one wasn’t half bad
Which makes it half good

– TeeCoZee