Day 296: Because I Am So Sick Of The Rain [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

Holy crap, what a gloomy week it was. When there wasn’t cheap pops and crackles filling the sky, rain clouds were. The only days that it didn’t rain, it was so unbearably hot that just sitting outside was a strenuous activity. I know that some places not too far from here would love our rainfall, but seriously, just take it. We don’t need it here. Our trees aren’t in danger. We’re in the age of Blade Runner. We should be able to send artificial rain clouds to California. I realize that this is just Mother Nature running her course and punishing us for owning a microwave or whatever, but this is getting annoying. Because it’s all I can think about, here’s some lists about rain:

5) Top 5 Uses For Rain

5) Free car wash

4) Cutting out humidity

3) Punishing tourists

2) Watering crops

1) Making dramatic movie scenes

Going back to Blade Runner, holy shit, that movie was very unrealistic. I can suspend my disbelief for flying cars and nearly-human sentient androids. But it’s fucking ludicrous to think that it would ever rain that much in Los Angeles.

4) Top 5 Songs With Rain In The Title

5) It’s Raining Men

4) Raining Blood

3) Purple Rain

2) Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again

1) No Rain

The music box at my store is broken. They swapped out the Ethernet port months ago and never bothered to put in a new one. So the thing has been running off an SD card, randomly choosing between songs off the equivalent to an iPod Nano. One of the songs is a really poppy and grating cover of “No Rain”. I swear I’ll write a full treatment of it soon, so I can release the vitriol properly. But for now, I’ll say that whenever it comes on, I turn the box off. The store is better off in silence than being exposed to utter blasphemy.

3) Top 5 Words With “Rain” In Them

5) Refrain

4) Raisin

3) Bargain

2) Train

1) Brain

I don’t think I need to explain myself here. Brain is the best rain word, because it’s the most vital. Although, I could be convinced that “bargain” is better than “train”. It depends on what kind of mood I’m in.

2) Top 5 Reasons Why Rain Is Fucking Stupid

5) It stops baseball from happening

4) It puts everyone in a bad mood

3) The streets are littered with wet paper

2) It requires accessories

1) It makes driving 5000 times harder

I can’t drive in the rain. It makes me a nervous wreck. Shit is slippery, people still drive like assholes and I’m no longer able to properly see them drive like assholes. If I’m the only one on the road, I can handle some rain. But when you have motherfuckers speeding past you, it becomes a terrifying experience. Also, the city has a huge drainage problem. Even after the lightest rains, there’s a few spots on my regular route that become flooded. I really didn’t think I was gonna make it across a few days ago. Praise the lord that I was born to drive boat.

1) Top 5 New Pictures In My Camera Roll

5)

4)

3)

2)

1)

I didn’t take any pictures of rain this week. Instead, I kept my hands deep in my pockets to protect my phone. It may be water-resistant, but I’d rather not take my chances. Now, let’s hope that this bullshit stops soon. It has to, right? Right?!?

Have a yelling-at-cloud-ly week, everyone!

– TeeCoZee