Day 286: 419 Words About Ice Cream
It’s Thursday night. And you know what that means. It means I’m really late at writing and I looked for a prompt in a hurry. This weeks prompt came from my lovely wife, Rachel, who wanted me to write 419 words about ice cream. So here’s that!
You ever have a streaky friend? Like one that you don’t talk to very often, but when you hang out, you have the time of your life and wonder why you never think of them? And then a week later they’re out of your head again? I have a friend like that. His name is ice cream. Or maybe it’s a she. I wouldn’t know, we don’t talk much. That’s just kind of how we roll.
I feel like there’s been entire years of my life where I never even thought about ice cream. I think I even effectively convinced some friends that I hate it and then doubled down on it later on in life when I actually did want some. I’d always reluctantly get a slush just to keep up appearances. I didn’t have much going for me and being the guy that didn’t eat ice cream was something. That’s probably why I started wearing ties all the time. That made me a lot more noticeable than being an anti-confectite.
Luckily, I made new friends that I’d feel comfortable eating ice cream around. I no longer have to hide from my true self. But I still didn’t eat much ice cream, because I didn’t want it. I’m still the asshole that gets upset at an ice cream shop’s lack of sorbet options.
But now that I’m fat and old, not many food groups are off the table. I go on my ice cream kicks. Earlier this year, I kind of took it too far. I started eating it daily and it became a problem. Not because I was eating too much of it, but because of when I did so. I was usually a cocktail deep, it was usually 3 in the morning and if it didn’t give me immense heartburn, the sugar kept me up much later than I preferred. But I only craved ice cream at 3 in the morning. I told myself that if I was going to eat ice cream, I had to do it before midnight. The same pint that was in that freezer when I made the oath still sits there today. Because I can’t have it before midnight, ice cream is just something that I don’t want anymore.
Because honestly, fruit bars are where it’s at. They’re healthier, they taste better, they come in economical sizes and they taste waaaay better with whiskey at 3 in the morning. I’m sure I’ll like ice cream again someday, but for now, I’m ignoring its texts.