Day 275: Because Dads Need A Day, Too [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

It’s that day again. You know, Sunday. It happens once a week. It’s on the calendar. You should know about Sunday by now. If you don’t, we have bigger problems on our hands. We’re also getting close to the Summer Solstice, which is cool. But not cool-cool, more like hot-cool. It’s also Father’s Day, which is even cooler. Because chances are more likely than not, your dad is cool. Or you could be a Dad yourself, which is also cool. I consider myself to be a Dad, but only when it makes me seem cooler than I actually am. However, Willy refused to acknowledge that it was Fathers Day. That was, until I had to leave for work. Suddenly, he wouldn’t stop blocking the door. He didn’t want me to leave. He wanted to spend Fathers Day with his dad, watching wrestling and playing with a toy wand. It was a heartwarming moment, until Rachel assured me that he’s just trying to be a dick, which he does all the time. It’s the thought that counts, I guess. Here’s some lists!

5) Top 5 Father’s Day Gifts

5) Nothing

4) Nothing

3) Nothing

2) Nothing

1) Nothing

Your Dad doesn’t want anything. You should still get him something, but he also doesn’t want anything. If that doesn’t make sense to you, you’ll probably be grounded soon.

4) Top 5 Foods My Dad Ate Ad Nauseum When I Was Growing Up

5) Baked beans

4) Egg sandwiches

3) Gardettos

2) Pretzels

1) Hot Dogs

I truly wish I was as easy to please as my Dad. It’d be really convenient if I could eat hot dogs for dinner every night and be perfectly happy about it. I would save so much money and avoid a tremendous amount of hassle.

3) Top 5 Top 5 Lists About My Dad That I’m Not Going To Write

5) Top 5 cars my Dad has owned

4) Top 5 card games I wish my Dad would still play

3) Top 5 pieces I’ve already written about my Dad

2) Top 5 telephone greetings that my Dad uses

1) Top 5 times that my Dad was brutally honest with me

I started writing a few of these and completely hit a wall. So I figured it’d be easier to rank the unwritten lists. It’s Father’s Day. Cut me some slack.

2) Top 5 Shows I Wish I Could Watch With My Dad Right Now

5) Married…With Children

4) The Rifleman

3) The Three Stooges

2) Seinfeld

1) The Price Is Right

It’s rare, but whenever I watch The Price Is Right, I’ll just start randomly texting Dad my guesses. No context whatsoever. Sometimes he’s watching and he plays along. Other tones, he’s not watching, but he’ll still guess and be closer than me. His Price Is Right skills are on a telekinetic level.

1) Top 5 Pictures Of My Dad In My Camera Roll

5)

4)

3)

2)

1)

My Dad never wears hats. And yet, 3 of my favorite pictures of him features a hat. Maybe he should wear hats more often? Or maybe he should keep using them sparingly, so the novelty doesn’t wear off? Dude looks good in a hat. Nothing else to say about the matter.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go call my Dad. I’m sure you should do the same thing, or better yet, pay him a visit if you can. Actually, I need to get some work done first. He would rather I do that anyway. You should always be mindful of what your Dad actually wants.

Happy Father’s Day!

– TeeCoZee