Day 274: Baseball Haikus – Athletics at Yankees 06/19/21

Thank you, Guard Railing
For protecting me from balls
And seeing batters

Full capacity
This place is ready to rock
Yank fans are the best

Sexy Kelly Greens
So much better than road grays
More teams should do this

Matt’s always intense
According to Matty V
He forgot to swing

Bottom of the second: Athletics 1, Yankees 0

Gleyber got a hit
And the DJ played “Layla”
Dumb algorithm

Top of the fifth: A’s 2, Yanks 1

Heats getting to me
Definitely don’t feel great
Chickens a dumb choice

Sounds like “Bent GERDner”
A twist on acid reflux
Striking out swinging

Top of the seventh: Elephants 4, Shitheads 2

Cool breeze, please come by
And blow our sweaty backs dry
Cool breeze, we miss you

Olson and Chapman
I just can’t tell them apart
One’s intense, one’s not

Prison of my mind
A prison with its own jail
Why did I come here

Bottom of the seventh: Moneyball 4, 27 Rings 3

Too close for comfort
As Frazier advances base
Make my stomach churn

A brand new ballgame
Former starter on the mound
To give up a dong

Bottom of the Eighth: Ayyyys 4, Janks 7

No depth perception
Every fly ball’s a home run
Blinder than my wife

Abuser starting
And an abuser closing
27 rings

Final Score: Philadelphia 5, Highlanders 7

Train packed to the gills
Filled with yelling fuckfaces
Fuck The Fuckin’ Yanks