Day 261: Because The Heat Is Making Me Delirious [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

Well, that escalated quickly. We went from mild spring weather straight to the devil’s armpit of summer. It’s too hot outside to even exist. I’m looking at the people out the window and wondering how in the hell they’re even doing it. And while my office is comfortably chill, I’m permanently feeling the delirium from being outside for 20 whole minutes. So while I try to get my bearings straight, here’s some lists.

5) Top 5 Mario Powerups

5) Mega Mushroom

4) P Wing

3) Regular Mushroom

2) Tanooki Leaf

1) Fire Flower

There’s nothing in the world more powerful than a Mario with heavy artillery. Playing Super Mario 30 has given me a newfound appreciation for the fire flower. It basically turns the game into Contra. Mowing down goombas just slaps different.

4) Top 5 Annoying Comebacks When I Tell A Tourist That There’s No Restroom

5) Why?

4) What if I buy something?

3) But I really need to use it!

2) I’m never coming here again!

1) Are you sure?

I was writing the previous list and a customer asked me if I was sure that there was no restroom. The question was so stupid that I had to put it on top of a list for something. Am I sure? Oh right, I totally forgot! We do have a restroom! But you still can’t use it.

On a side note, I always immediately tell people that there’s a public restroom directly across the street. But they still drag their feet and whine. They argue and complain for so long that they could be in the restroom across the street by the time they finish. I even tell them that sometimes because they can’t stop begging.

Side-side note: somebody offered me $100 to use the restroom the other day. I really wanted to take it, but I have morals. Kind of.

3) Top 5 Beefs

5) Corned

4) Cubed/Chopped

3) Brian Cage

2) Ground

1) Steak

I know what you’re thinking. I made some very controversial choices. But truth be told, I really don’t care for roast beef. I enjoy it at Arby’s, but that’s not real roast beef. So therefore, the deli meat is dead to me.

2) Top 5 Things I Forget

5) Water bottle

4) Heartburn meds

3) What I was going to say

2) What I was going to do

1) Umbrella

I legit can’t remember the last time that I brought an umbrella to work and actually used it. I either forget it or it doesn’t rain while I’m outside.

1) Top 5 New Pictures In My Camera Roll






I had something to say about these pictures, but I forgot. Damn heat.

Have a cool week, everyone!

– TeeCoZee