Day 260: Baseball Haikus – Trying To Get To Citi Field 6/5/21

Had no game this week
Everyone on the west coast
Making me real sad

12:41 PM

Going anyway
Making my way to Flushing
Cash in a raincheck

[The next Astoria-Bound train is in 22 minutes]

Can’t take the N Train
No time to wait for slingshots
The R is quicker

The next stop is 36th Street

The R isn’t quick
Need to take a damn slingshot
To go further east

Jamaica bound trains are running on the express track

Slingshots are abound
Impossible to avoid
The city hates us

For service to these stations, take a—

Sweltering station
The sweat drips off my forearm
Relief far away

The next stop is Roosevelt Ave

That so-called Express
Crawls past the local stations
Going nowhere slow

We are delayed due to train traffic ahead of us

We stop completely
For guys standing in a hole
Just staring at it

We should be moving shortly

How nice it must be
To be a subway worker
Money for nothing

Thanks for riding with us

On-board announcement
There’s track work nights, days, weekends
Ride weekday mornings

Stand clear

I’m shaking my fist
She closed the doors in my face
Too angry to yell

Just think of how much you’ll save on cologne

Tried to catch my breath
But I can’t take my mask off
Impossible task

The next Local 7 train will arrive in 2 minutes

The trains a mirage
Painted in a wavy haze
Never gets closer

This is 82nd Street Jackson Heights

Can’t put my bag down
The floor is too damn sticky
Bunch of savages

This is 111th street

7 Hauling ass
Making up for the lost time
That’s real nice of them

This is Mets-Willets Point

Finally made it
Back into the burning heat
To stand in a line

Welcome to Citi Field

There isn’t a line
There isn’t anybody
The only one there

The ticket window will reopen Monday at 9 AM

Ticket window closed
Stupid asshole lied to me
Two hours wasted

I came all the way from Yonkers! Come on!

Fuck these fucking fucks
Why wouldn’t they be open?!?
I’m calling these fucks

The next stop is Junction Boulevard

Sitting on the train
Yelling at a ticket rep
Don’t care anymore

I am so, so sorry dude

Try again Monday
No other choice, but next time
I’ll fucking drive there

– TeeCoZee