Day 250: Turning It Around

It’s fucking Wednesday.

The rest of the week holds nothing for me.

There’ll be a long drive.

My doctor’s going to look at me like I’m a fucking idiot.

The game will get rained out.

The Dodgers cause me too much stress.

My customers are turning on me.

The job feels less fulfilling by the day.

I’m constantly afraid that something is going to go wrong.

I don’t want to cook dinner.

I don’t want to feel any obligations.

I’m sick of the pandemic.

It’s so goddamn humid.

I’m running so goddamn late.

And the train is so far away.

But I still caught the train on time.

And the more late I am, the less time I have to spend there.

At least I’m not walking a mile in the freezing cold.

And I can do it without a mask, as the virus is becoming eradicated.

I should feel blessed that my life has structure.

I’m glad to be able to cook meals for Rachel, instead of eating empanadas every night.

Nothing has gone wrong in a while and a lot of the catastrophes are behind us.

My job still pays me a more than livable wage.

I have customers that care about my well-being and job security.

The Dodgers have won 8 straight in one of the toughest stretches on their schedule.

There will be other games to go to.

Even though my health problems are vague, at least I’m taking steps to get help.

And afterwards, I get to drive away from the city for a day, which will be good for both of us.

The rest of the week can hold whatever it will, but at least I’m not stuck on today.

It’s fucking Wednesday.


One thing I’ve been trying to teach myself is to spin all of my negative thoughts into something positive. Since I’m so good at being contrarian, maybe I can trick myself into being more optimistic. And I know that we all get stuck in these trenches where there’s no escape. But maybe the escape is in our own minds. Wouldn’t that be convenient?

– TeeCoZee