Day 237: 219 Words Analyzing “Analysis”

Hooray. It’s Thursday. The day where I’m at the literary mercy of a person I choose. And today, I made the mistake of choosing my lovely wife, Rachel, who I am going to miss sorely this weekend. For some reason, she wants me to write 219 words about “analysis”. Umm…great. I’m screwed.

For the record, this is my own fault, because I did not specify that it needed to be an object. I also did not gauge how mad she might be at me. So now here I am, stuck having to write about a word that is a vague concept and not a tangible object. But here goes literally nothing.

Analysis. I’ve said the word so many times in my head that it’s already lost meaning. I guess the best thing I can do with the word analysis is to make an analysis on why Rachel chose analysis. So let’s try to break down her decision-making process:

She’s aware of the parameters that I have set for myself. And she’s also aware that I am doomed to write about whichever word she chooses. However, as the tortured wife of yours truly, she is most likely sick and tired of me banging my head against an invisible wall, trying to come up with ideas.

In these trying times of perpetual block, she throws ideas my way. Sometimes I use them, sometimes I do not. But in this instance, she wields the infinite power to choose today’s subject. With that in mind, she didn’t want to lob me a meatball that I could easily mash into the upper deck. No. That would be too nice. And because I am abandoning her for the weekend, she has no reason to be nice.

So she threw me a curveball. She made an assignment that was seemingly impossible. Yet I still made weak contact, grounding a dribbler into a double play.

My final analysis: I need to be nicer to my wife. Lesson learned.

– TeeCoZee