Day 211: What Is A Ton?

There are expressions and slogans that we’ve been seeing our whole lives. They become so complacent that we are unable to think outside the box and see it in a different light. Some expressions can be rich and up to interpretation, but we are unwilling to let go of the shackles we tied them up in. One phrase in particular had its true meaning revealed to me last week and it turned my life upside-down:

“Honk if you’re horny” is a pun. As in, honk if you’re horny. Honk horn.

Let that set in for a second.

Everything we know is wrong.

If something like that can be so obvious, yet universally ignored, what else have we been missing this whole time? What other Easter Eggs of the English language are begging to be found? I didn’t have to look too hard before another one hit me like a ton of bricks.

According to Rachel, “a ton of bricks” refers to weight, not quantity.


Because we don’t use the metric system, our American slang usually dictates that “a ton” equals “a lot”. In most cases, if we are using weight to exaggerate the amount of something, we specify a “metric fuckton”. But using its weight designation for an exaggeration makes a lot of sense in some cases, but no sense in others.

I’ve got 2000 pounds of work to do.

There’s 2000 pounds of traffic.

The amount of thanks I have to give weighs 2000 pounds.

That’s 2000 pounds of food!

From now on, whenever I use “a ton” as a figure of speech, I’m going to image it as 2000 pounds worth. Now I kind of wonder what an actual ton of money adds up to. Or a ton of packing peanuts. It’ll add spice to an otherwise bland situation.

There’s a ton of expressions that we’ve been misinterpreting this whole time. Just some food for thought on a lazy Saturday.

– TeeCoZee