Day 174: I Finally Beat Mario 3

Let’s make one thing perfectly clear: I suck at video games. And that’s not a overreaction because my record on MLB The Show 20 is 101-233. I realize that I play video games all the time. That’s not at all indicative of my skill level. If there was a way to lose at Animal Crossing, I’d be the first to figure it out. I’ve gotten shut out on Tecmo Bowl…by the computer. I’ve only performed a fatality once on Mortal Kombat and that was by accident. And I have never completed two of my favorite games, Super Mario Bros 3 and Sonic The Hedgehog 2, without the use of cheat codes or Game Genies.

With yesterday being Mar10 Day, I figured that there was no time like the present. Like a responsible adult, I loaded my World 7 save at 2 in the morning. Surely this would only take a few minutes. Nope. Two hours. So many of the later levels are mazes that I just couldn’t comprehend. I probably lost 10 lives due to the timer running out. But I persevered and when it was all said and done, I was face to face with the easily-defeated Bowser. Princess Peach was saved again. Thank god. I was really worried that time.

I’ve been playing Mario 3 since it came out 31 years ago. To say that I just now beat it is just ridiculous. I honestly feel like if I wasn’t coddled by the Warp Whistles, I would’ve done it a long time ago. The countless times I say down to okay the game, it always went as follows: Go through World 1 while getting both warp whistles, warp to World 8, use my long P Wing on the tank level, realize that World 8 is just to fucking hard, turn the game off, eat some cheese. If I wasn’t given the option to immediately warp to the end, I probably would’ve picked up some skills along the way. I probably would’ve also felt more determined, as the stakes would’ve been much higher if I had spent all day to get to World 8.

It’s safe to say that cheat codes hindered the development of my gaming skills. If I would’ve just resisted and played games without them, I might’ve developed the skills to not be awful today. But it’s too late. If it would’ve happened, it would’ve happened by now. My talent remains stationary, no matter how hard I try.

So now you’re asking yourself, “If he sucks at video games, how did he suddenly beat Mario 3?”

Well, I used save states. That kind of helped.

Also there’s a feature on Switch Online that lets you rewind by frame, which I did every time I got hit or fell down a pit.

Welp.

Cheat codes are so embedded into gaming that now it’s just a “feature”.

And I’ll always suck at video games.

– TeeCoZee