Day 168: I’d Rather Listen To The Symmetry Of Rachel Sleeping [Friday Thoughts W/ TeeCoZee]

Good Moleman. There’s one thing they forgot to take away from us: this inanimate carbon rod. It’s Friday, March 5th, Two Thousand and Twenty-One. The weather in Astoria is 36˚ & Pantone 16-4120 and somewhere, somebody is trying not to wake someone up. They must make delicate movements, as everything is amplified by a million in the dead silence of the bedroom. What consequences await if the person were to stir, they don’t know. Frankly, they don’t want to know. Little do they know, the person is only pretending to sleep in order to dodge a conversation. So their charade will go on for much longer. And me? I had the TV volume cranked when Rachel fell asleep, so in theory, I can type as loud as I want to. I hope. Gulp. I have some things on my mind.

-Here’s a conversation that I just had in my head:

“Rachel got her first vaccine shot today!”
“That’s good!”
“But I had to drive to Manhattan to take her…”
“That’s bad.”
“But I didn’t have to pay for parking!”
“That’s good!”
“But that meant that I had to drive around for an hour in an endless purgatory of construction, pedestrians, garbage tornados and the existential doom that goes with ‘cruisin’ around Midtown”
“…That’s bad”
“Can you stop making Simpsons references now?”

– Has drain cleaner ever actually work for anyone? Like ever? I go through the same cycle seemingly every two years. I get a clog in the drain, I convince myself that drain cleaner is going to work, it doesn’t and I resort to the snake. Next time I get a clog, I always forget that drain cleaner doesn’t work. This could be for a multitude of reasons. For starters, every time you shop for drain cleaner, there’s always something new that you’ve never heard of before. Or you’ve straight up never heard of any of the options, as was the case with me the other day. It makes you think, “damn, there must’ve been lots of advancements in drain cleaning technology if all of these brands are different”. But it’s always wrong. It’s always the same results. It looks the same, it smells the same, it does the same, it’s probably the same.

Which makes me wonder, is drain cleaning solution a front? Are they just opening these new “businesses” to launder money? Are they taking the same water and peroxide solution and putting them into different bottles? It’s also one of the few products that boasts being “proud to be made in the USA”. Go to a drain cleaner aisle and I guarantee that half the bottles have an American flag on them. It’s seems like some sort of code. It’s a way of insiders to know that “this is scam cleaner, we’re just bottling this to funnel money to the Cayman Islands, please don’t blow up our spot”. But the secret is out and I’m gonna blow up the sport every opportunity I get. Drain cleaner is not a real thing, it’s a sham product and it has nothing to do with me balding at an alarming rate!

– It’s goddamn 2021. How much longer do we have to wait until all commercials are broadcast at the same volume? They were working on this technology in the 90s and just gave up. My parent’s tube-ular Magnavox from 1994 had a remote locator, picture-in-picture and the technology to automatically normalize the volume of commercials. None of these things are standard anymore and we just accept that as fact. Now more than ever, we have a need for all three things. It’s just sad to see how complacent we’ve become as consumers.

– I’m not going to lie, I had a pretty awful day. I’ve got a stiff neck, I’m still a little panicky from driving aimlessly around Midtown and I’ve just had an overwhelming feeling of malaise since the moment I woke up. But sitting here at my desk while the world turns to dusk has brought me peace. I keep looking to my left to see the orange glow sink into the skyline as the rest of the sky emits a brilliant blue. It’s such a rich hue that I want to paint with it. I can feel the hue. I feel myself as part of it. And the timed rhythm of Rachel’s sleep breathing adds a wonderful symmetry to the room. The symmetry embraces me, makes me feel welcome. I know that right now, in this moment, I am meant to be here. We’ve been through a lot and we may never be able to unpack all of it fully. We deserve a moment like this, where we’re both at an equal state of calm. Even with the sounds of the Dodger’s game, my frantic typing and the rush hour trains rolling by, the rhythm of the room is undisturbed. I would love to stay in this moment forever, but I know that I can’t. For now it is officially night and I am really bad at typing in the dark. Way to ruin the moment, crappy typing habits!’

– Try this trick over the weekend: learn how to type without looking at the keyboard. That way, when you’re lost in the moment at sunset, you can easily type out what you are feeling.

Have a centered weekend, everyone!

– TeeCoZee