Day 149: Because President’s Day Only Comes Once A Year [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]
It’s the sexiest day of the year. Can you feel it? Love is in the air. I’m excited, I hope you’re excited. But we must show restraint. We still have to wait another day for President’s Day. I know you were chomping at the bit to celebrate. You probably had your powdered wigs dry cleaned and your Oliver Stone box set queued up. But alas, it’s not President’s Day yet. But it is President’s Day Eve, so we can do the traditional celebration of eating chocolate and making lists. I made mine already, because I’m more of a President’s Day Eve fan. Maybe they’ll inspire yours…
5) Top 5 Holidays That Should Be In A Different Month
5) St Patrick’s Day
4) Columbus Day
3) President’s Day
2) The 4th of July
1) Valentine’s Day
St Patty’s Day is a crap holiday that should be in a crap month. Columbus Day should be moved to Smarch. President’s Day should coincide better with the inauguration. The 4th of July should move around like Easter and lastly, Valentine’s Day should be in the spring, when there’s more flowers blooming and goodwill towards mankind.
4) Top 5 Quotes From Johnny Gargano’s Promo Last Wednesday
5) “I’m Johnny Wrestling, not Johnny Doctor Guy!”
4) “I will rehab, ‘Beautiful Day’ music video, I’ll return, it’ll be great!”
3) “[I’m a] well-known power walker!”
2) “Charade?!? What do I look like, Dennis Charadmon?!?”
1) “Now I’m in a wheelchair, and you know how I feel about wheels!”
What can I say? The dude cuts a hilarious promo, even when he’s confined to a wheelchair.
3) Top 5 Worst Valentines Days
Although, Valentine’s 2019 had a good ending, I can’t get past the fact that I spent the whole day in the Emergency Room with a freshly-seized fiancé and dried up flowers.
2) Top 5 Bevs That Make Me Feel Like A Gentrifying Yuppie
4) Tumeric Cleanse
2) Ginger Shot
Nothing says “The neighborhood is so vibrant” like sipping on a vinegary Kombucha. Mmm. You can just taste the smug.
1)Top 5 New Pictures In My Camera Roll
Obviously, #1 was going to be love related. Because it’s Presidents Day Eve!
Have a loving week, everyone!