Day 121: Because Football Is Dead To Me Again [Top 5 Top 5 Sunday]

Well that didn’t last long. My brief love affair with football is over for another year. The chance of an LA Triple Crown is dead in the water and as of writing, Tom Brady is still in the mix. Also, in the first half of the Cleveland-Kansas City game, something happened that was ridiculously stupid. I closed out of the YouTube TV app in disgust. In moments like that, I wish phone buttons were still in fashion. I wanted so badly to express my anger in the fashion of which I was closing the app. Instead of swiping it away, I wanted to slam something shut. It just gave me no satisfaction. And although football might be dead to me, you can bet your sweet bippy that I’ll take the opportunity to complain about it tomorrow in greater detail. So you know ahead of time that you can skip tomorrow’s article. Because I’m a thoughtful content creator. But for now, lists!

5) Top 5 Things That I’m Gonna Do After I Get The Vaccine

5) Say “ow”
4) Wait to make sure that I don’t have an allergic reaction
3) Ensure that it’s okay to leave
2) Thank them profusely
1) Eat a sandwich

Honorable mentions include: Tap my foot nervously, check Twitter while I wait, make an obnoxious Instagram post, ask if there’s a bathroom I can use and leave.

4) Top 5 Things That I’m Gonna Do After Everyone Else Gets The Vaccine

5) Go to a wrestling show or 10
4) Go to a baseball game or 20
3) Get drunk at a bar
2) Join a gym
1) Eat a sandwich

I honestly wish I could go to Wrestlemania this year, as it’ll probably be the last time that it’s remotely affordable. But who in the hell knows where this pandemic is gonna be at come April. Also, I’m sure Tampa would be obnoxious as balls.

3) Top 5 Purchases I Made This Week

5) Willy’s new friend – $400
4) Chromecast – $29.99
3) NJPW World Subscription – 999¥
2) Parking Meter Fare – $9.75
1) Oil Change and a Headlight – $114

There’s nothing more adult than taking your car to the mechanic before work. Especially when it means you’ll be able to actually see better at night and not be a traffic violation waiting to happen. If you’re ever in need of a mechanic in Midwood, Repairs On Wheels will hook you up. I’ve never felt better taken care of at a body shop in the city. Also, they’ll get you in lickety-split. And then after I went to work, the wife saved over 60% on car insurance by switching to Geico. We are a walking advertisement today.

2) Top 5 Dude Names That Seemingly Know How To Party

5) Barry
4) Rick
3) Jeffy
2) Vic
1) Doug

There was a DJ that used to circuit around Mid-Michigan when I was in high school. His name was DJ Doug. My friends and I thought that name was ridiculously awesome and we always vied to go to a DJ Doug show. I think we finally ended up at one. He sucked. Still a good name, tho.

1) Top 5 New Pictures In My Camera Roll






My Pringle intake has increased 1000% recently and it’s not because of the #3 tweet. I think I’ve been ignoring them for 2 decades and now I’m ready to accept them again. Also, the lightly salted ones are changing my life.

Not a popping and not stopping week, everyone!

– TeeCoZee