Day 074: 25 Things That Are Better In December

Holy crap, we finally made it! It’s December! The year’s almost over! Rejoice! Burn in hell 2020! Nobody loves you! They want you to be over! You’ll never be remembered fondly! Fuck you!

And even if this year wasn’t the worst in world history, there’s still reasons to rejoice for the coming of December. Things are simply better this month. Watching a log burn on TV doesn’t have the same effect in April. Christmas lights are generally regarded as tacky come June. In case you needed a refresher, here’s 25 things that are generally better in December, along with the month in which they’re the most inappropriate:

1) Eggnog – July
2) Singing Christmas Carols – February
3) Browsing Toy aisles – June
4) Cookies – August
5) Ham – April
6) Giving gifts – January
7) Football in the snow – August
8) Nostalgia – February
9) The color red – June
10) Beards – July
11) Seasonal commercials – May
12) Hating Mariah Carey – October
13) Baseball’s hot stove – May
14) Catching up with friends – September
15) Being drunk – February
16) Snow – Every other fucking month
17) Ugly sweaters – July
18) Cuddling up with the one you love – August
19) Hot beverages – June
20) Movies about families – April
21) Waking up – January
22) Cherry 7-up – May
23) Spending all your money – March
24) The idea of summer – August
25) Spending time with family/missing family – February

I know there’s a million other things that are better this month. So the next time you’re feeling down in the dumps, just remember, it’s fucking December! That means something!

– TeeCoZee