Day 060: When It Comes To Wrestling, I’m Always Wrong
There’s something addictive about the humbling feeling of being wrong. It’s comforting to know that you’re a mortal human that is not living in a simulation. Being wrong makes things more interesting, as you’re not always predicting the outcomes of things seemingly outside of your control. It’s also quite useful to be a pessimist that’s always wrong. Good things happen that way. Life becomes a pleasant surprise. That’s not to say that I’m going out of my way to be wrong all the time. I’m not bombing my football pick ’em pool [although I am in last place] and I’m not trying to convince strangers that Dustin Hoffman was in Star Wars. Being wrong for the sake of being wrong doesn’t satiate my needs. So I watch things where I can casually be wrong, like Pro Wrestling.
I was always making wild wrestling predictions when I was a kid. For every title match, I would assume that the massive underdog would win or there’d be a run-in from someone who is clearly not coming back. I always chalked this up to the writers being smarter than a kid. Now that I’m 20 years older, I’m still always wrong about wrestling, but the coin is flipped. I never accept what is obvious and dumbly spelled out for me, but rather I make predictions on what would make a better story. My watching style is the opposite of Rachel, who latches onto every morsel of foreshadowing and uses it to be right all the time. This is what draws us both to wrestling. While I like to be casually wrong, she gets her kicks from being right. We’re the perfect viewing couple!
Our opinions clashed greatly on last night’s episode of Raw. The main event was a title match between the heavyweight champion, Randy Orton and Drew McIntyre, who had just dropped the belt to him a few weeks prior. With a mere 6 days before the Survivor Series PPV, it made no sense to me to have the title change hands. Orton was already booked in a champ vs champ match against Roman Reigns at said event. But of course, after the title match was booked, Drew McIntyre went over to Smackdown to manufacture a quick feud with Roman, with the assumption that he’s going to win the title back on Monday. Here was my prediction of last night’s outcome:
Orton is going to retain the title, either cleanly or due to interference by Roman Reigns or Jey Uso. This outcome makes sense for a multitude of reasons. First off, titles don’t change hands before a big PPV. That’s just a given. Also, if Drew was going to go out of his way to challenge Roman, it should be for his own Universal title, not for some champ vs champ match with only bragging rights on the line. If they truly wanted to make something out of those two, they would make sure Roman had something to lose. Also, it’s very apparent that there is no competition whatsoever on Smackdown. Roman has no real challengers for his title. Meanwhile, on Raw, there are 3 or 4 eligible superstars that are trying to dethrone Randy Orton. Therefore, the only logical thing to do is to have Drew lose, maybe interfere with the match at Survivor Series to continue the heat with Roman, ultimately ending in him getting traded to Smackdown, where he can actually provide a decent storyline for the champ. Sending Drew to Smackdown would fix so many things. He could also be traded for Otis, so he can go and feud with Tucker and they wouldn’t have to both become faceless jobbers. Everybody fucking wins!
Here was Rachel’s predicition:
Drew issued the challenge on Smackdown, so of course he’s going to win the title so he can have the match with Roman at Survivor Series. Duh.
The result? Common sense prevailed over writing a good and complicated story. I don’t know why I tried to make an elaborate scheme for something so simple. Drew McIntyre won his stupid title back. Rachel’s face lit up in the glory of being right. I shrugged in the quiet comfort of being wrong. It’s the same scene 2-3 times a week and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m going to be irked for a while that they didn’t go in a direction that would strengthen both brands. After a quick and rushed buildup, McIntrye and Reigns are going to have their match and then they’ll go back to their separate brands, leaving it all dead in the water. What a pittance. But after all, it’s Wrestling. It never makes any sense! That’s why I love it so much!