Day 056: I’d Rather Not Be Known As Rookieman56 [Friday Thought W/ TeeCoZee]
Good Moleman. Hi, I’m Troy McLure. You may remember me as Sergeant Fatso Judson in “From Here To Eternity”. It’s Friday, November 13th [eep], the year before next. The weather in Brooklyn is 51° & Pantone 441 and somewhere, somebody is being given jewelry. Could this be it? Could this be the moment he finally does it? The jewelry box opens and to her surprise, it’s just a necklace. Of course. Rings don’t come inside of large boxes and he gave it to her while sitting down. But her disappointment quickly turns to excitement as she ponders why he’s giving her a necklace. Could it be because he realized she’s the one? Or that he’s really sorry about something that she’ll never find out about and it’ll never be brought up again? Nope. He actually stole it from his co-worker’s desk. That’ll teach him to make fun of the Raiders. And me? I don’t give Rachel jewelry that often. But I am curious as to why there’s Mardi Gras beads in the car. I also have a thing on my mind…
– Everybody has an email or screen name that they’re ashamed of. Back in the 90’s, we weren’t that good at coming up with them. If I could go back, I’d probably make a “clever” football pun. Like “Buried_Sanders20@hotmail.com” or “Ryan_Left16@lycos.com”. But we weren’t even witty enough to do that. Instead, we came up with shit like “IndependentBurrn” and “sk8nblaze”. I didn’t know any skaters growing up, but the emails I knew told me otherwise. I also didn’t know any arsonists, but here we are. I’m sure you had one too. Whether it was “Fr3ak0nal3ash420” or “goblue09458”, there’s a skeleton in the back of your digital closet.
The only difference is that I never got rid of mine. I’m stubborn when it comes to changing things. After 15 years, I still have the same phone number. I keep using the same laundry bags, no matter how ripped they are. I still use the same gimmicks in my Friday Thought[s] that I used in 2013. I’m both stubborn and repetitive. It’s a dastardly combo. With that said, I still use the same spam email address I made in 1998. I don’t even remember the password for it, but some devices are permanently logged in. I just have a hard time letting go of it. I feel like someday there’s going to be an important email that I’m going to miss [even though I never check it and the inbox is most likely full]. If you’ve ever looked at my fantasy sports profile or received something from me via PayPal, you would know be as my original name: rookieman56.
Why the hell would I call myself rookieman56? It’s such a stupid name that has nothing to do with me. Never have I been considered a rookie, nor was I ever number 56 or a man. The answer is actually simple and as stupid as the name. Back in the late 90’s, when we thought having an affair was the most dastardly thing a president could ever do, I was becoming obsessed with football cards. The class of ‘98 was a ripe one. There was Peyton Manning, Charles Woodson, Randy Moss and of course, my boy, Ryan Leaf. The NFL hadn’t seen a draft class like that in a while and I was obsessed with collecting their rookie cards. I ended up amassing a large amount and still have them in a binder at my parents house. Their value has decreased significantly over the years, but in my 11 year old head, it was my ticket to the promised land.
Back then, eBay had yet to emerge as the definitive online marketplace. Most sports card selling and trading was done on the Beckett website. I really wanted to get my hands dirty in this new and exciting trading platform, but I needed an email address to sign up. So it was done. If I was going to be the cool dude known for having rookie cards, I would need an appropriate name. I would be…rookieman! That doesn’t make me sound like an 11 year old at all! But rookieman was already taken. So Yahoo suggested that I use a 56 at the end, for no specific reason. I would be…rookieman56! Yes!
My time using the Beckett website was short lived, as was my football card hobby. But the name will follow me the rest of my life. I now consider 56 to be my lucky number. I almost always hit it on Keno. Lucky numbers don’t just happen. You have to imprint them, convince yourself that they are lucky and then eventually, you’ll strike it. Numbers are just numbers. What you do with them is what makes the real difference. And the number and the name made me the person I am today. Kind of. Not really. Shut up.
– Try this trick over the weekend: log into your old email account. Delete all the MySpace notifications. You digital closet needs cleaning, too.
Have a sparty99us weekend, everyone!