Day 027: Bev of the Week – Calpico

I work across the street from a Japanese grocer and their selection of Bevs have always intimidated me something fierce. I never want to make the mistake of buying a bad one and being mocked by the cashiers, as if they would actually sell a bad product. So I always stick to the ones I know: Ramune Soda and Pocari Sweat, two wonderful Bev options that will surely garner their own BotW article. But some of the Bevs in the case just look…suspect. One of those cans landed in my hand yesterday.

My coworker bought me a random Bev, knowing damn well that I was going to bombard him with 50 questions.

What is it?

It’s a non-carbonated soft drink.

Clearly, I can see that. But what does it taste like?

It tastes like…I don’t know…

Is it citrusy? Milky?

It’s neither of those things.

But there’s milk in it. And citric acid.

Yep. I’m going on break, now. Byeeeeee.

Upon further research, I discovered that the name translates to Calcium Butter. So is this buttermilk? Am I about to drink a can of buttermilk? It certainly appeared so. Upon opening, it looked like something reminiscent of cheap bodega coconut water. It’s watery, it’s milky, it looks…strangely refreshing? I took a gulp and it was surprisingly satisfying. I tried convincing myself that it tasted like milk, but it didn’t taste like milk. I tried convincing myself that it tasted citrusy, but I can’t identify what citrus fruit it represents. It’s not quite lemon. It’s definitely not lime. Nor is it orange. The only descriptor I could come up with is “Cloudy Sour Water”. It is truly “original flavor”.

And it’s sincerely not that bad.

Its anonymous flavor is pleasing and unabrasive. The only problem is that I can’t come up with a good scenario that goes with this Bev. I don’t know if you drink it for breakfast or as an after-dinner dessert. I don’t know if you drink it after sports or while studying. I don’t know if it’s better on a train or while driving. The one thing I know for sure is that it tastes good when somebody else buys it for you. It also pairs decently well with a Spicy Tuna Roll.

So buy yourself a Calpico. Or don’t. Maybe somebody will buy one for you instead. It might taste better that way. Or not. I have no opinion of this Bev. Deal with it.

– TeeCoZee