Day 002: Suck It, Zachole!

Sibling competition is a natural thing. When two people are raised together, it’s very common for the two to compete for the parents affection and praise. The rivalry can be heated and feelings could be hurt, but at the end of the day, they’re way too close to ever harbor real resentment [or at least, in an ideal world]. However, when it’s cousins competing, all bets are off.

As you may have noticed, my cousin Zach decided to write something public every day for 365 days. This exercise in futility has garnered some pretty decent work and quite frankly, I’m jealous of the attention my Mom has been giving him. She’s just sitting there on Facebook day in and day out, clapping her ass off at his accolades while I struggle to spew out some random drivel once a month [if I’m lucky]. So it’s due time to put my money where my mouth is and hold my wallet in my mouth while I use both hands to write every day. And I will win my mom’s love back, damnit!

So let this be your warning, Zachy Poo. I’m coming for your streak. I’m not going to write for 365 straight days, that’s just stupid. I’m going to write for 369 days instead! Yes! A much sexier number! Hopefully this will be a more successful endeavor than that time BFD tried to write 369 Jokes To Tell At A Steakhouse.

I know what you’re thinking. “But Coze, you haven’t written on a regular basis in YEARS! What can you possibly have to say?!?” That’s because I’m clairvoyant and also, I prepared myself for your questions like an adult. For the next 367 days, you can expect:

– Random thoughts that I usually save for Fridays!

– Beverage reviews!

– Made up stories about strangers I randomly see!

– Phantom Songs!

– Sports Stuff!

– Vengeance!

– Jokes to tell at a steakhouse!

They’re not going to be pretty. They’re not going to be long. They’re not going to be…that good. But they’re going to exist and that’s all that matters. Because the fact of the matter is, I’ve been in a creative rut and I need to dig myself out of the shit! And it starts today!

Err…actually, I wrote yesterday. SO IT STARTS YESTERDAY!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

SUCK IT, ZACHOLE!

– TeeCoZee