I’d Rather Call It 2019 [Friday Thoughts W/ TeeCoZee]

5) Good Moleman
4) [Moleman Quote]
3) It’s Friday, December 28, Two Thousand and Eighteen
2) The weather in Brooklyn is 51˚ & Pantone 427
1) And somewhere, somebody is making a list. There’s eggs, milk, bananas, Barry Bonds, Idaho, Pineapple, Volkswagen and emotions. It could be a grocery list or it could just be a list for the sake of lists. And who am I to judge? I also have a bunch of pointless lists on my mind…

Top 5 Things That I’m Currently Confused About As Of 12:11PM
5) Why JP Morosi looks like somebody that claims to know a lot about baseball, despite the fact that his haircut says otherwise.
4) Whether or not the pillar that juts out of my building is a chimney. It’s currently spitting out smoke, but the building could also be on fire? Was that pillar there yesterday?
3) Why I haven’t eaten all of the lifesavers yet.
2) Why baseball writers are so apt to try to vote a player into the Hall of Fame solely because they played during the steroid era and didn’t touch the stuff. That doesn’t make them a great player. Compared to the competition, they were actually bad.
1) What kind of lists I should actually make.

Top 5 Top 5 Lists That I won’t Write Because It’ll Make Me Feel Old Or Uncultured Or Both
5) Top 5 Movies Of 2018
4) Top 5 Albums Of 2018
3) Top 5 Books Of 2018
2) Top 5 Memes Of 2018
1) Top 5 Movies Of 1988

Top 5 Movies Of 1989
5) Do The Right Thing
4) Weekend At Bernies
3) Nightmare On Elm Street 5: The Dream Child/Look Who’s Talking (Tie)
2) Tango & Cash/Turner & Hooch (Tie)
1) Major League

Top 5 Baseball Games That I Attended In 2018
5) April 20 – Blue Jays 8, Yankees 5
4) September 12/13 – Marlins 0, Mets 13
3) May 26 – Angels 11, Yankees 4
2) June 24 – Dodgers 8, Mets 7
1) September 26 – Braves 0, Mets 3

Top 5 Coughs Of 2018
5) With a stethoscope to my back
4) After cleaning my ears
3) With strep throat
2) When I coughed once and was satisfied
1) When I coughed so hard that I spewed

Top 5 Sandwiches Of 2018
5) Turkey, pepper jack, dijon mustard, onions on a hoagie
4) Tuna, swiss, cheddar, onions, mayo on melted on focaccia
3) Philly cheese steak
2) Prosciutto, mozzarella, basil, olive tapenade on a hard roll
1) Chicken Vodka Parm from Gios in Secaucus

Top 5 Shows That I Was Forced To Watch In 2018
5) 90 Day Fiance
4) Say Yes To The Dress
3) Vanderpump Rules
2) Master Chef
1) Married At First Sight

Top 5 Shows That I Was Forced To Watch Reruns Of Because Hospital Cable Sucks In 2018
5) Friends
4) Mike & Molly
3) How I Met Your Mother
2) Bob’s Burgers
1) The Office

Top 5 Shows That I Was Meaning To Watch But Never Got Around To But I Promise I Will When I Get The Time In 2018
5) Dirty John
4) Homecoming
3) The Marvelous Mrs Maisel Season 2
2) Maniac
1) The West Wing

Top 5 Genuinely Good Shows That I Enjoyed Of 2018
5) Big Mouth
4) American Vandal
3) Barry
2) Better Call Saul
1) The Good Place

Top 5 Years That Were Better Than 2018
5) 2004
4) 2012
3) 1999
2) 2016
1) 1994

Top 5 Excuse Me’s Of 2018
5) “Excuse me, where is the restroom?”
4) “Excuse me, how do I get to Section 19?”
3) “Excuse me, please get out of here. We’re closed.”
2) “Excuse me, I’m trying to get off the train.”
1) “Excuse me, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY YOU STUPID FUCKING NIMROD”

Top 5 Ad Utterances That I Got Sick Of In 2018
5) Liberty, liberty, liberty…liberty
4) How DARE YOU?!?
3) Not sorry!
2) Woah, woah, WOAH!
1) Heyyy, can’t you hear what I say? I’ll be on my way.

Top 5 Disappointments Of 2018
5) Its length
4) Crappy weather on my day off
3) The service at my neighborhood Taco Bell
2) Manny Machado, in general
1) MLB The Show 18

Top 5 Games That I Played In 2018
5) Super Smash Bros Ultimate
4) MLB The Show 17
3) Red Dead Redemption 2
2) Super Mario Odyssey
1) Euchre

Top 5 Things That I Can’t Believe Happened In 2018 Because It Feels Like Years Ago
5) The World Cup
4) Black Panther
3) Parkland Shooting
2) Stormy Daniels
1) The Olympics

Top 5 Adult Things I Did In 2018
5) Moved into an apartment with a female companion
4) Kept said apartment kind of clean
3) Bought a blender
2) Went to a hospital over 100 times
1) Got engaged

Top 5 Best Feelings Of 2018
5) Being engaged
4) Getting a good night’s sleep
3) This new vape oil I got
2) Watching your girlfriend wake up from a coma
1) Knowing that she’s home, safe & sound [Although she isn’t right now]

Top 5 Cold Brews Of 2018
5) Dunk’n Donuts 32oz with 1 pump of liquid sugar
4) Wandering Bear Straight Black 11oz TetraPak
3) Blue Bottle Black 8oz Can
2) Stumptown Black 8oz Can
1) La Colombe Draft in a 12oz Paper Cup

Top 5 Swear Words Of 2018
5) Ass
4) Piss
3) Damn
2) Shit
1) Fuck

Top 5 Months Of 2018
5) March
4) April
3) December
2) June
1) May

Bottom 5 Months Of 2018
5) October
4) February/July/November (Tie)
3) September
2) January
1) August

Top 5 Vaporwave Albums That I Can’t Wait To Write About In 2019
5) New Dreams LTD – “Sleepline”
4) Luxury Elite – “World Class”
3) Ursula’s Cartridges – “Escape To New York”
2) 猫 シ Corp – “Palm Mall”
1) Death’s Dynamic Shroud.wmv – “I’ll Try Living Like This”

Top 5 Punches In The Dick Of 2018
5) Not getting my dream job
4) The Dodgers losing the World Series…again
3) Realizing that our country is probably doomed
2) Rachel getting cancer
1) Getting punched in the dick

Top 5 Lies I told In 2018
5) “I got punched in the dick”
4) “I’m not sure why your name isn’t on the schedule”
3) “This place has some promise, but I’m not sure. We’ll be in touch!”
2) “Buffalo Nickels are good luck”
1) “I’m doing okay”

Top 5 Beers That I Drank In 2018
5) Founders KBS
4) Bell’s Expedition Stout
3) Killsboro Amethyst
2) Founders CBS
1) DuClaw Gose O’s

Top 5 Things I’m Looking Forward To In 2019
5) Baseball
4) Going to Arizona to watch baseball
3) Rachel being done with chemo
2) Going to Disney World after Rachel is done with chemo
1) 2018 being over

Top 5 Tricks That You Should Try In 2019
5) Prepare for 2020
4) Fake your own birth
3) Pretend 2018 never happened
2) Candles
1) Learn an actual trick and then teach it to me. I obviously don’t know any.

Have a 2019, everyone!

-TeeCoZee

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