Coze Makes Gurgel Geuw Music Video, Entertains Some


After a 5 year hiatus, TeeCoZee treated dozens to yet another Gurgel Geuw music video. People have described it as “cool”, “needs more skateboards” and “elephant ass blast”. I had the opportunity to sit down with Coze himself to talk about this endeavor.

BFD: Coze, thank you for coming by to chat with me.

Coze: Thanks for the Deep Dish. I wish Little Caesers would stop using canned mushrooms. Should’ve brought my own.

You do that a lot?

In a world that hates mushrooms, you must always be prepared.

So what was your overlying theme of this video?

I prefer Baby Bella myself. But some people call them Crimini. It’s all bullshit. It’s the difference between yams and sweet potatoes.

How’s your relationship with Micah and Trevor of Gurgel Geuw?

Now Micah, he won’t tell me what kind of mushroom he likes. Probably because I’ll hold it against him. But Trevor is more of a Shitake guy, which I cannot stand. He also refers to Baby Bella as Crimini, so you know he can’t be trusted.

Do you think their sense of humor has influenced you in any way?

Pennsylvania Dutch. Remember those? They came in those little cans. Mom used to make pizza with them. I typically hate those things, but on my Mom’s pizza, I can’t complain.

Why do you think mushrooms on pizza are considered abhorrent to New Yorkers?

I was originally going to do a shot-for-shot remake of Citizen Kane. I wandered all around LA trying to find Xanadu, but with no luck. Since that was the first shot, I gave up on the endeavor completely. I ended up at Griffith Observatory and decided to do my best tourist impression. I got my camera out and started shooting the scenery. But what the other tourists didn’t know was that I was looking at Los Angeles through a zoom lens, using my vantage point to try to reveal the city for what it really is.

And what about olives? You never see olives on pizza.

When I got back and laid it all down on the timeline, I realized that I had a whole bunch of worthless footage on my hands. Any attempts for creation resulted in a boring slog that didn’t make any sense. It was quite depressing.

So with that in mind, how did it become the video that it is today?

I was sitting on the train, staring at a girl that was holding a pizza box. I wondered what kind of pizza it was. Or if it was even pizza at all. Could’ve been a severed toe, or 50 severed toes. I was listening to Monky Bread On The Keyz, like I do on a weekly basis, and “A Moment Ago” cued up. It was perfect. The subtle haziness, the general paranoid atmosphere, this song was designed for my footage. I immediately went home and got to work. I never did find out what was in the pizza box, though.

What were some of the biggest challenges in making this project?

I mean, I didn’t really do anything outside of my wheelhouse, so the whole thing was pretty easy. Just pooping a bunch of layers onto the timeline and keyframe filtering to the repetitive beat. It was my kind of jam. I tried putting it through After Effects, but that was way to hard to figure out, so I gave up. It was already a masterpiece.

What do you think Trevor, Micah and the dozens of Gurgel Geuw fans out there think of this video?

I think that they think that it exists. When really, it existed in the past and always in the future, but never in the now. Or maybe it exists now. I’m just trying to go deep on you.

So what’s next for TeeCoZee?

I’m planning on going to the Mets game and then having sex with your wife.

Oh, you rascal! Mr. Coze, it’s always a pleasure. Thanks for coming. You are a true filmic visionary.

Fuck you.

With BFD Is Dead Productions, this is Pork Hertylman signing off.

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