Top 5 Reasons I’d Rather Be Making Top 5 Lists [Top 5 Thoughts Of 2014 With Tee “Top 5” CoZee]

Top 5 Ways To Start The Friday Thoughts
5) Good Afternoon
4) It’s Friday, January 2, Two Thousand and Fifteen
3) The weather in Brooklyn is 42˚ and partly cloudy
2) Somewhere, somebody is writing a Top 5 list.
1) But not me. Oh wait, yes I am. I actually have lots of lists on my mind…

Top 5 Prosciutto Brands Of 2014
5) Nature’s Deli
4) Citterrio
3) Applegate
2) Citterrio Fresco
1) La Quercia

Top 5 Months Of 2014
5) December
4) June
3) April
2) March
1) August

Top 5 Subway Rides Of 2014
5) A train to Howard Beach/JFK Airport
4) C train to Canal St
3) D train to Yankee’s Stadium
2) 7 train to Mets-Willet’s Point
1) C train to Kingston-Throop Aves

Top 5 Video Games Of 2014
5) NHL ’94 2014 Edition
4) RBI Baseball 2014
3) Tecmo Super Bowl 2014
2) Mario Kart 64
1) Caesar’s Palace

Top 5 Things I Accidentally Did In 2014
5) Bumped into somebody
4) Made a racist comment
3) Threw a napkin into the recycling
2) Drank someone else’s beverage
1) Farted in front of my boss

Top 5 Things That I Didn’t Accidentally Do In 2014
5) Get off at the wrong subway stop
4) Burn somebody with a cigarette
3) Touch a boob or butt
2) Fall off of something
1) Fall in love

Top 5 Worst Songs of 2014
5) Take Me To Church
4) Turn Down For What
3) All Of Me
2) Happy
1) Rude

Top 5 Movies of 2014
5) Grand Budapest Hotel
4) Inherent Vice
3) Top 5 Sodomania 13: Your Lucky Number
2) Boyhood
1) Birdman: Or The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance

Top 5 Resolutions of 2015
5) Travel to the west coast
4) Learn how to sew
3) Publish some sort of tangible media
2) Be better at my job
1) Have sex or something

Top 5 Taped Sporting Events of 2014
5) Super Bowl XXVI
4) 1986 World Series Game 6
3) 1984 World Series Game 5
2) 1983 Stanley Cup Finals Game 4
1) 1996 NBA Finals Game 6

Top 5 Bands That Still Sucked In 2014
5) Foo Fighters
4) Weezer
3) Fun!
2) Coldplay
1) U2

Top 5 Phrases/Utterances That I Ran Into The Ground In 2014
5) That’s What’s Up
4) Yolo Brolo
3) I Like Sex
2) Bird Up
1) Bluh

Top 5 Porno Genres of 2014
5) Porno-Porno
4) Found Porno
3) Cosplay Porno
2) Pawn Shop Porno
1) Quickie Porno

Top 5 Letters To Coze Subject Lines of 2014
5) Forget Iran, Iraq, Ukraine and Syria This Is Where WWIII Will Start
4) Natural Testosterone Booster!
3) Claim Your Purple Pill Kit
2) Andrew, FREE CHATTING TONITE!!
1) eHarmony is free today

Top 5 Dates of 2014
5) I took myself to a Mets game
4) I went to David’s Brisket House and bought a corned beef sando
3) I went shopping by myself
2) Masturbating in bed
1) The one time that I actually went on a date, when she was obnoxiously conscious of our class differences and faked a birthday party after 45 minutes

Top 5 Numbers of 2014
5) 5
4) 4
3) 3
2) 2
1) 56

Top 5 Mike Joenses of 2014
5) Mike Jones
4) Mike Jones
3) Mike Jones
2) Mike Jones
1) Who?

Top 5 Tricks You Should Try In 2015
5) Get a job, you lazy bum
4) Stop eating Ruffles
3) Snort a line of Stevia and recite the screenplay for Cool Runnings
2) Haggle the price on your restaurant tab, but then tip your server 200%
1) Go around the neighborhood giving out free ties

Top 5 Closing Words Of 2014
5) Have
4) A
3) Swaggy
2) New
1) Year

-TeeCoZee