Wednesday is upon us! The sun rose in the Wednesday hemisphere and crushed Tuesday to the mother fucking ground. Tuesday is out of the game.

Today a man gave me a banana, and it was actually a banana, I’m eating it right now. It’s yellow and it’s in my mouth. Why did he give me his banana? I think he was trying to be friendly… maybe I looked hungry for banana. Bananananana.

10 Reasons Why You Should Dress Up as Hitler for #Halloween

  1. You can experience real hate and anger (especially if you go “method” on it).
  2. You may experience acceptance, but you won’t know for what reason.
  3. A Hitler stache attracts brazilian bikini waxes.
  4. The swastika also means peace if its inverted or something – that will keep you safe.
  5. Charlie Chaplin did it.
  6. Get in a fight with a sexy fire hydrant and really trip people out.
  7. Hail a cab… you know what to do.
  8. No one else is doing it (and if they are you should have sex with them and film it).
  9. Get sponsored by Nestle.
  10. Because…. Hitler.

I finished that guy’s huge yellow banana. I finished it good.

Have you ever held a baby on shrooms? Let me clarify: the baby is not on shrooms. You are on shrooms and the baby is on crack. At least that’s what it feels like.

So this baby. Baby blue because the baby was totally tinted blue at the time. She reached out her little arms. Okay her name was Violet, no…Olive. Little baby Olive. She’s reaching for me. Like she knows me, like she’s my friend from another life and spent some time as a seahorse but now she’s a human again and we’re connected. Like really connected. Her mother knew… she just handed her to me. And I’m all like…lady…your baby…is….amazing….I feel like I know her. And there is Olive, sitting nestled on my hips, relaxing, looking around….trying to tell me something. She whispered into my ear…baaaagoooo….I gave her back before I could make out the rest. I’ll come back for you Olive! I’ll come back.

Sexual Fantasy: I’m totally naked and you have all your clothes on except for a small hole that your penis is sticking out of. Maybe your penis is even covered, but there’s a little cap at the tip that opens up and you can just stick that in. I bet you could do some real good work with that tip…think of it like a sexy, nubby finger….oh yeah.

I was going to make another “Tinder Burner” but I have no time. It’s already like 5pm people. Get it together.

TINDER BURN #thenumberaftertheonebeforethis – Michael, 28
Well, obviously we’re a match made in heaven because you’re a dog. I always wanted a man like you… loyal, slobbery, wearing a hat. I always wanted to feed my lovers and take them out for long walks where I watch them shit and then pick up their shit and hold it until I get to a near by garbage. I’m also happy that you’re only gonna be around for like maximum 12 years…28 in dog years is…3? Mmmm…3 year olds, exactly the mental capacity I’m looking for. I do recognize the real…it’s real, real of you to be a dog on Tinder… THAT is some real shit.

I have so many unsent naked pictures. I have to pee. Just peed. So good. Naked pictures? Sometimes I masturbate to drum sticks being thrust inside me…

I want to become a stripper because I think I could do some real good for the community and the patrons. I would turn it into a sexy, fun environment where everyone is friends and we really work through some issues. I mean, theres a reason you’re spending tons of money to have a girl shake her shooken ass up in your face…we can figure that shit out while I rub my tailbone on your bonebone. I will be there for you, spreading love at the strip club.

Oh. I opened a new creative venture with Tate…it’s a joint venture…there are joints. e-mail us. hatecreative@gmail.com – HATE (we know how to love)

Until you fuck someone on a sink real hard,