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OMFG it’s Wednesday.

I don’t think “acro-yoga” is a real thing. Not like, it’s imaginary, but I just don’t understand where the yoga… Yoga is an ancient indian thing… isn’t it? Was there like an acrobatic yoga guru in the himalayan mountains using his robe as silks while drinking tea upside down?… or maybe it’s meant to be modernized. The whole thing confuses me, and I don’t actually want to do yoga — I want to fly! I’m joining the circus.

So I feel like I haven’t talked about dicks in a long time… maybe thats because I’ve been putting them in my mouth so often. ZING. BURN. BURN MYSELF! BOOM. Anyway, I really want to take the term “cock sucking” back… I talked about this with a few penis holding friends and they agree… being a cock sucker is a good thing. Everyone loves a cock sucker.


Reason’s its gross out today:

  1. Someone peed on that bench.
  2. There’s a warm mist in the air.
  3. You are a negative person.
  4. Mad pedophiles aren’t getting the mental health attention they need.
  5. When people sneeze near you, you inhale their snot. Always.


This Page Feels Like My Life
Right now. I keep reaching
for my phone. This book
won’t be like the last one–
It can’t be. S   P   A   C   E
is what I need. I left my
phone. But I wish I had
my music. I could be writing
this in third person…
maybe that’ll make me feel
less self  :  absorbed. SO
through you tourists, models,
rats. The sidewalk is too
small for your designer
smiles and H&M paper bags
NO ONE is meeting you at
blooming dales. NO one.

—— by Snuggle Pez

I was sitting and writing on the hudson river… It was late, I’ll admit, but there was no one around. It was so peaceful I’m pretty sure I heard fuckin’ seagulls. I wasn’t doing nothing. Just hanging out. A car rolls up “Hey… the park is closed” she said, I’m on the HUSDON RIVER. How can you close the edge of a city? Fuck your benches. It’s only 3AM.

–Me and my sister are really cute together.

TINDER BURN #whatever – Mo-T


Ok first of all can we say grated cheese. GRATED CHEESE. I really wish that your nipples were showing in this picture, because I feel like your jacket is placed on purpose to hide them… did you tape it to your nipples to prevent a nip slip? If so… thats really cowardly of you. #FREETHENIPPLE. Your name is the best thing I’ve ever heard. Israelis will get it… everyone else, not so much. Lets go feed some pigeons or something… I can try on your sunglasses. Love you. I love you Mo-T.


Things that happened when I was trying to remember all 50 states:

  1. I almost convinced myself that West Virginia was not a state
  2. Wrote Atlanta… not Georgia
  3. Lost hope at number 33
  4. Fell in love with Utah
  5. Could not spell Massichutist
  6. Vermont… Vermont will haunt me in my sleep
  7. Wrote Georgia… not Maryland
  8. New Mexico sounds cool


OKAY FUN FOLKS, thats all… now I gotta go do something important that’s really important… with like clients and shit… like networking HELLOOOOO lets go.

Until the business cards